When I started speaking to teens about sex 15 years ago, I only spoke to 8th grade girls for about three years. When the opportunity to speak to high school students presented itself, I must admit, I was rather nervous.
It’s one thing to convince a 13 to 14-year-old girl who most likely hasn’t started having sex why she should abstain. It’s an entirely different challenge to convince 17 to 18-year-old girls who may already be sexually active, why they should stop having sex. Not to mention, the high school classes are also co-ed.
And if I thought it would be difficult to convince a 17 to 18-year-old girl to abstain, I figured it would be nearly impossible to do the same for guys.
Boy, was I wrong!
I started getting letter after letter after letter from young men like the one below:
You have honestly changed my whole perspective on having sex in high school. I didn't care whether or not I had sex, with who or how many. I just saw it as pleasure and having a good time. I never thought through the consequences. You made me realize how much having sex can jeopardize my future and other people's. I'm also glad you came to talk with be now, because it'll keep me from making future mistakes. I will always go back to your speech every time an opportunity comes and actually think before I act. Now that I know better, I will do better.
Guys’ vs. Girls’ “Sex-pectations”
I wasn’t sure why guys were willing to discontinue sex more easily than girls until I started doing an activity in the classroom.
I asked girls and guys to list what they expected from sex.