The Big Brother Advice Every Girl Needs to Hear: Korey Talks Love, Sex & Relationships

The most popular post of my Conversation with Korey series thus far, has been this one where Korey talks about the impact of fatherlessness on girls. It clearly struck a chord with a lot of people as I'd hoped it would. And I pray today’s post will do the same.

Tune in as Korey shares big brother wisdom with girls on love, sex and relationships – topics that many of them could benefit hearing from a caring young man’s perspective.

What’s Love Got to Do with It?

When it comes to teenage girls, love has a lot to do with it. The problem is many of them have a skewed definition of love, due in large part to the media. And our culture has trivialized what it means, to the point where now sex has become synonymous with love. Now there’s almost a reprogramming that has to happen, so that girls will know how to recognize authentic love that is mutually beneficial and healthy for both people involved.

As Korey points out, love should never make or break a girl. If he had a little sister, he would tell her that she can’t look to another person to discover who she is. Korey would also advise her not to compromise who she is-her value, her beliefs-all in the name of so-called “love.”

The advice Korey shares in today’s clip, for the little sister he never had, is spot on for any young lady.  He encourages her to avoid wrapping herself up in another person to the point where she loses sight of who she is.

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How Korey Sex-Proofed his Life: Practical Tips that can Work for Teens too!

For a young man, Korey is full of wisdom that both teens and their parents can glean from, don’t you agree? And once again with this week’s Conversation with Korey, he doesn’t disappoint!

It’s one thing to say you’re going to stop having sex, but it’s something else entirely to actually live out your commitment on a daily basis. But that’s exactly what Korey has done over the past couple of years.

Today Korey and I discuss what it really takes to sex-proof your life so you can live sex-free till marriage.

Free your Mind and the Rest will Follow

It wasn’t until Korey changed his mind about sex, that he was able to change his behavior. What followed was him setting boundaries for himself in several key areas you’re going to want to take note of. Including:

  • What he listened to
  • What he watched
  • Who he hung out with
  • How he referred to himself

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Korey Tells All: Who Says Teen Guys Aren’t Looking for Value and Acceptance?

Last week I introduced you to my mentee Korey Harris, a 26-year-old young man who discovered peace after giving up sex several years ago.

One thing about Korey that stands out, in real life as well as on video, is how authentic he is. He’s a young man with amazing drive and the determination to start his own basketball skill development business.  He trains both collegiate and professional players, even as a student-athlete himself. And Korey doesn’t shy away from the fact that he’s never played basketball on a professional level. He owns it. Much like he owns his decision to abstain from sex.

There’s an ease and comfort level about Korey that comes from knowing and accepting who he is and what he’s about. But he’ll be the first to tell you, he wasn’t always so sure of himself.

Acting Out for Acceptance

In this next clip from my Conversation with Korey series, we discuss how the promise of being the first person in Korey’s family to graduate from college, almost slipped through his fingers.

A misdirected need for acceptance by “friends” who didn’t have his best interests at heart, led to him engaging in behavior that contradicted the positive upbringing his mother worked hard to instill in him.

Thankfully, that’s not where Korey’s story ends!

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Discover How a 26-year-old Man Found Peace After Giving up Sex

One of the perks of my job is that I get to meet so many awesome young people. Several of whom I’ve also had the privilege of mentoring. These young adults not only walk the walk by practicing abstinence post high-school/college, but they also talk the talk by sharing their insight and experiences with middle and high school students, parents and/or anyone who’ll listen.

My mentees are one of the reasons why I remain encouraged to continue teaching my unique brand of Sex-Ed message. They prove that it can and does resonate with both girls and guys, including mentee Korey Harris.

An Interview with Korey

At 26 years old, Korey is a student-athlete, author and entrepreneur with his own athletic training company. He has also been celibate for more than two years.

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A Real Mom’s Guide to Having the Sex Talk with Her Son

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For years parents have sought my advice on how to talk to their kids about sex. Some have even asked me to have “The Talk” with their kids on their behalf. There was no way I could physically speak to every child whose parent(s) requested, nor would I want to rob any parent of having an open and honest dialogue about sex and relationships with their child. However, I recognized that many parents were clueless about how to even begin the conversation. Thus The Sex Talk Every Parent Should Have DVD was born.

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2014: My Year in Review!

It’s hard to believe that the first two weeks of 2015 have already passed. I’m hoping that’s not an indication of what’s in store for the balance of the year—time moving so fast that I barely remember it.

Each year, as I assemble the data to share my review of the previous year, I’m always blown away when I look at the numbers.

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But, for me it’s not about the numbers. What I remember most are the individual students, their faces and their stories. Oftentimes, heart-wrenching stories. And other times, stories that warm my heart.

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That Time I Gave Birth to Twins

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This time last year I was working on writing my first book for teen girls, The Seven Secrets Guys Will Never Tell You. Though I managed to finish the first draft, which was a major accomplishment for me, unfortunately you will not find that book on the shelves of any bookstore.

Let’s just say that for me, as a speaker, writing a book is much more daunting than standing in front of thousands giving a presentation. So, I decided that producing DVDs of my presentations might be a much easier undertaking. I was right!

While I have been working on the book in some form for several years, within a period of 6 months, from start to finish, my DVDs entitled, “Dreams, Decisions, Destinies: The Sex Talk Every Teen Girl/Guy Needs to Hear” were available for purchase. I felt like a proud mama who had just given birth to twins.

I have been blown away by the response to my “twins” that I have gotten from teens and parents alike. Below are just a few of the testimonials:

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Living Beyond the Grave!

iStock_000018127451_Small Like many people, I was shocked to hear the tragic news of Dr. Myles Munroe’s death. His plane crashed Sunday evening in the Bahamas, killing him, his wife and the seven other people on board. He was only 60 years old.

Dr.-Myles-MunroeIf you are not familiar with Dr. Munroe, he was a pastor, motivational speaker and prolific author with numerous best sellers under his belt. Dr. Munroe authored 69 books covering topics from transformational leadership, personal development, spiritual growth, purpose, marriage and relationships. 

The first book I ever read by Dr. Munroe, more than 20 years ago, was entitled, Understanding Your Potential. I would name it among the top 10-15 books that have helped mold me into the person that I am today. I even incorporate several of the principles from this book in my current presentations for youth.

Monday, I watched a video of a message that Dr. Munroe delivered earlier this year and I found his message to be just as powerful in 2014 as it was when I read my first book written by him, 20 years ago. Dr. Munroe asked a question during this message that convicted me = “If you died today, what would happen to all of the knowledge you have?”

I was convicted because I knew that I did not have a good answer to the above question. I was embarrassed to admit that if I died today, I would take much of my knowledge to the grave with me. I have not done the work to capture/document that knowledge so the impact of it can be felt even after I’m gone.

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Flowers Fit for a Funeral!

Growing up, I often heard older people say, “Give me my flowers while I can still smell them.” Many times, this was said after they had attended a funeral and left the funeral wondering whether the deceased had been told before he/she died all of the wonderful things that were said at the funeral.

White coffin with pink sympathy flowers

This past weekend I saw a great example of flowers being given to a person while she was still alive to smell them, and that quote from the older people came alive for me like it never has before.

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My Week in Review: The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly!

Driving at sunset - rear view mirrorLast week was quite a week! I drove almost 700 miles and spoke to more than 2,500 students in seven schools in five towns.

The GOOD!

As much as I despise driving, it was actually refreshing to travel through small towns where life seems so much simpler than life in a big city. I was constantly tempted to pull over to take pictures of perfectly lined trees in pecan orchards, people sitting on benches in quaint little town squares or the elderly gentleman sitting on his tractor at the edge of his yard waving at every passing car.

There’s also something fulfilling about speaking to students in small towns who attend schools that may not have the resources of schools in larger cities. You can almost see the hunger on the students’ faces. In most of the schools I visited last week, the students were so attentive that you would have thought I had honey dripping from my lips. It was as if they were hearing things they had never heard before, and they were eating it up.

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