Why Daughters Need their Dads!

Daughter&Dad

When a girl’s first date is with her father, 
all other men must measure up.
~Author Unknown

 

But what happens when a girl’s father is not actively engaged in her life?

Often times she makes poor relationship choices, becomes sexually active at a young age and spends the rest of her life questioning why her father did not love her enough to want to be a part of her life.

A teen girl tells us why:

We were discussing the “father issue” in class one day and a young lady gave the following explanation as to why many young ladies make poor relationship decisions and do not always demand to be treated with respect or recognize their value:

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Love-Ed vs. Sex-Ed

Love Book

 

I think we miss the boat when we spend so much time talking to teens about sex when the better conversation is one about “love!”

When a young lady tells me she has sex in order to show her boyfriend how much she loves him (which is one reason high school girls give me for having sex), I immediately think that she needs a lesson in “Love-Ed” –a term coined by another student. And my response to her is:

What are you going to do to show yourself how much you love YOU?  You have to love yourself first before you can really love anyone else.

When you love YOU, you don’t make decisions that could jeopardize your chances of reaching your dreams and goals.  When you really love others, you don't let them make decisions that are harmful for them either.

What is more important than showing your boyfriend how much you love him is showing yourself and others how much you love and respect YOU!

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Standing Out or Fitting In: Which is your teen doing?

Girl Standing Out From the Crowd - Isolated

Welcome back to my blog series, “Teens Tell All: Top 20 Reasons Why Teens DO and DON’T Have Sex”

As I mentioned in my introduction video, I have grouped all of the reasons that high school girls have sex into five different categories. I wrote about the first category in April, which was self-medicating due to rape/molestation

My last post, where I addressed why middle school girls are planning to have sex, is closely related to the second category for high school girls, which is social acceptance.

 Below are a couple of reasons why high school girls say they have sex:

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Do You Know What’s On Their List?

TodolistThe common assumption is that teen girls are having sex because guys are pressuring them into doing so, and that is often not the case.  What may surprise you and what I am hearing from 8th grade girls is oftentimes their decision to have sex is made long before guys even ask them for sex or long before they have boyfriends in some cases.

Following are some reasons 8th grade girls have given for PLANNING to have sex:

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National Teen Pregnancy Prevention Month Kickoff

Welcome to the kickoff of my blog post series in support of National Teen Pregnancy Prevention Month.

The series is titled:

“Teens Tell All: Top 20 Reasons Why Teens DO and DON’T Have Sex”

Check out the video below to learn more about the series.

 

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Protecting Your Child from Sexual Assault

saam_logo-generalenglish_2On May 1st, I will begin my blog series “Teens Tell All: Top 20 Reasons why Teens DO and DON’T Have Sex,” in support of Teen Pregnancy Prevention Month.

However, I decided to address one of those reasons this week since April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month. 

Since beginning this work, I have been blown away by the large number of girls who reveal in their anonymous letters that they have been raped or molested.

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Boundaries: Who Needs Them?

highway_guardrails

WE ALL DO!

I tell students they will never outgrow their need for boundaries and the sooner they learn to establish and maintain them the easier it will be for them to do so later in life.

Unfortunately, many students are not being given boundaries at home when they are younger, making it more difficult for them to establish and maintain them for themselves when they become teenagers (or when they are adults for that matter).

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TRUTH that Sets them Free!

TRUTH

Every word that came out of your mouth was the truth
The truth shall set me free now thanks to you.
~High School Student

 

Truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth—that’s what teenagers want, but find so hard to get from adults.

If you don’t believe me, check out the following excerpts from two students’ letters:

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Begin with the END in mind!

istockTheEnd

I had an interesting conversation in class today with a 17-year-old young man who was very open about the fact that he used marijuana and had sex.

During the class, I asked him if he would want his future child to use marijuana or have sex when he or she is a teenager. He said, “NO, my son is only going to have three things in his life: God, sports and school! He’s not going to do drugs or have sex.”

I asked him why he would want more for his child than he wanted for himself. He said, “I don’t want my child to make the same mistakes that I have made.” I hear that statement from teenagers ALL the time, by the way.

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Kill the spider!

Spider-Webs-creepy-968300-l

I heard a message from a minister years ago that stuck with me because the truth of it resonated within.  His sermon topic was entitled, “Kill the Spider.” 

It was a simple message with a core principle that could apply in almost every situation.  He shared that when we clean our homes, we sometimes run across and subsequently have to remove spider webs.  We remove them one day, but they are back the next.  We get frustrated because even though we work hard to remove them, they continue to return. 

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