How to Turn Your Sex Talk into a Vision Board

Many students are often surprised to discover that “sex” is only a fraction of what I cover with them in my Sex-Ed classes. I spend a lot of time talking to teens about having a vision and setting goals for themselves. I also let them know that I expect greatness from them, which is something I encourage parents to do in The Sex Talk Every Parent Needs to Have DVD.

3D Parent DVD w credits2

Last week I posted about a mom, after my own heart, who took my DVD and ran with it! I shared the first part of her testimonial of how she made the DVD work for her and her 13-year-old son. If you haven’t already, I strongly suggest that you read it here.

Today is Part 2 of this amazing mom’s mission to open up the lines of communication with her son.

 

 

1.  Share My Expectations with My Son

I created a list of my expectations for my son. I made sure that for each one I used positive words, which presupposes positive actions. I read through the list with him and asked him if he had any concerns. I also offered an explanation for each expectation so he would know what I meant. He said he understood. These expectations are now posted on his bedroom door. The full quote from your DVD escapes me at the moment, but I remember something about “greatness being achieved when greatness is expected…” I may have it wrong at this moment, but that quote is what sparked the idea to write down and post my expectations of him.

[Read more…]

A Real Mom’s Guide to Having the Sex Talk with Her Son

iStock_000047870306_Small

For years parents have sought my advice on how to talk to their kids about sex. Some have even asked me to have “The Talk” with their kids on their behalf. There was no way I could physically speak to every child whose parent(s) requested, nor would I want to rob any parent of having an open and honest dialogue about sex and relationships with their child. However, I recognized that many parents were clueless about how to even begin the conversation. Thus The Sex Talk Every Parent Should Have DVD was born.

[Read more…]

Can You Tell Your Teen to Abstain If You Didn’t?

Hypocrite and Teacher-4

Daughters of teen moms are three times more likely to become teenage mothers themselves.1

Have you noticed this phenomenon and ever wondered why it happened? Well I certainly have! As a matter of fact, this statistic has always baffled me.

For the life of me, I couldn’t understand why a teen girl would repeat the behavior that has often times caused her to grow up struggling unnecessarily.  Yet, I’ve met teen mom after teen mom who has said the same thing,

I can’t believe I'm getting ready to do to my child, the same thing my mother did to me.”

Be a Teacher, NOT a Hypocrite!

After conducting parent workshops and talking to mothers who had themselves been teen moms, I finally understood how and why the above statistic could've come to be.

[Read more…]

Date Rape: Lifting the Burden of Secrecy!

130419-F-CK779-001

Last year, my post to commemorate “Sexual Assault Awareness & Prevention Month” focused on children who were molested or raped as a child by a family member. This year I want to focus on date rape, which is unfortunately a lot more common than it should be.

While teaching recently, I noticed a young lady trying her best not to lose it when I told a story about another student who had shared with me that she had been “date raped.” Tears streamed down the young lady’s face, as she tried her best to keep the rest of the class from seeing her cry.

She broke down crying in my arms after class and told me her boyfriend had raped her two years ago when she was in the 9th grade. She said she broke up with him the next day, but had never told anyone about the rape.

[Read more…]

50 Shades of Green: Fighting the Media’s Manipulation of our Youth

Hand with money

I open my classroom presentation with the following question, “Do you think we have a healthy sexual culture in our society?” An overwhelming majority of the class will reply, “No!” When I ask them what they think contributes to the unhealthy culture, media always garners the most votes. Yet, this is the same media that they freely consume without even a thought of the cost of such an unhealthy diet.

After we finish what is often a lengthy discussion about the negative impact of the media, I know I’ve gotten them to think about the media they consume in a different light. I love watching the "light-bulb moments" when they realize the media is manipulating them in order to make money.

Let me tell you, teenagers do not like being manipulated. But they love being challenged. If the media is the culprit behind our unhealthy sexual culture (and all the damage that inflicts), I ask them to consider their contribution to the demise of our culture. Then I challenge them to fight back against the manipulation with their dollars.

[Read more…]

That Time I Gave Birth to Twins

DVD Covers3

This time last year I was working on writing my first book for teen girls, The Seven Secrets Guys Will Never Tell You. Though I managed to finish the first draft, which was a major accomplishment for me, unfortunately you will not find that book on the shelves of any bookstore.

Let’s just say that for me, as a speaker, writing a book is much more daunting than standing in front of thousands giving a presentation. So, I decided that producing DVDs of my presentations might be a much easier undertaking. I was right!

While I have been working on the book in some form for several years, within a period of 6 months, from start to finish, my DVDs entitled, “Dreams, Decisions, Destinies: The Sex Talk Every Teen Girl/Guy Needs to Hear” were available for purchase. I felt like a proud mama who had just given birth to twins.

I have been blown away by the response to my “twins” that I have gotten from teens and parents alike. Below are just a few of the testimonials:

[Read more…]

Teen Girls Who Don’t Know their Value Become Women Who Don’t Know their Value

I've been told for years that adults need to hear my message just as much as teens do because my message transcends age.

Teenage girl and her mother crying

Though my most requested presentation falls in the category of “sex education,” it covers so much more than sex. I address how to have healthy relationships, what it means to value yourself, how to treat yourself and others with love and respect, how to live a life of discipline and self-control, as well as how to make decisions now that will benefit you long-term and not just for the short-term. These are principles that apply to both teens and adults alike.

What You Don’t Know Can/Does Hurt You!

So what happens when adults did not learn these things when they were teens? They end up dealing with the same issues that teens are dealing with, just much later in life and for a longer period of time.

I recently received the email message below that confirmed for me how important it is to teach this generation of young ladies their value so they do not end up battling with the issue of low self-worth when they are well into their adult years.

[Read more…]

Flowers Fit for a Funeral!

Growing up, I often heard older people say, “Give me my flowers while I can still smell them.” Many times, this was said after they had attended a funeral and left the funeral wondering whether the deceased had been told before he/she died all of the wonderful things that were said at the funeral.

White coffin with pink sympathy flowers

This past weekend I saw a great example of flowers being given to a person while she was still alive to smell them, and that quote from the older people came alive for me like it never has before.

[Read more…]

Saving Your Child from Driving over the Cliff!

 Fifteen-year-olds are not young adults. They are big kids. They are not ready to make major life-decisions on their own, and they will ultimately hold us adults accountable for not being there to put up a roadblock when they have their foot on the pedal and are [bent] on driving their lives off a cliff.
–Rabbi Shmuley Boteach

Red car balancing on the edge of cliff above city.

At a recent presentation, a parent approached me afterwards to thank me for what I am doing and to tell me that I was speaking to her and about her because she was a teen parent. She also said she wished there had been someone around like myself to speak with her when she was a teenager.

What she said next really struck me:

I have been having a lot of problems with my 16-year-old daughter lately. She has been dating an older guy and making some bad decisions sexually.  She really needed to hear everything you said today. She is at home because she refused to come and now I am kicking myself for not making her come.

At this point in the conversation, I am a little confused. I don’t understand how a 16 year old can refuse to go to a presentation that may save her from a lot of pain, heartache and regret, especially when the mother already knows the daughter is making bad decisions in this area. This young lady is living in her mother’s house, sleeping in her mothers’ bed and eating the mother’s food. At what point does the mother step up as a parent and tell the daughter that she does not have a choice about whether she will attend or not?

[Read more…]

Where in the world is Jackie?

iStock_000022998034SmallFirst, let me apologize for not being more consistent with posting lately. In case you didn’t notice, last week was my first time publishing a post in three months. But it’s not like I was twiddling my thumbs over the summer and doing nothing. My summer was extremely busy! As a matter of fact, I’d like to bring you up to speed on what’s been happening with me lately.

I Have a Secret!

I’ve been working on a book, The Seven Secrets Guys Will Never Tell You, for longer than I care to admit and finally decided that recording a DVD of an assembly may be an easier task to accomplish in the short term. I was right! This summer, I released two DVDs, one for girls and one for guys. You can find out more about the DVDs and place an order here.

DVD Covers3

[Read more…]