5 Things That May Increase Your Teen’s Likelihood of Having Sex

mother shouting at doughterIt’s not easy being a parent today. Your teens are inundated with so many competing voices that influence their decision-making. I certainly empathize with the countless number of parents that have reached out to me over the years, seeking advice on how to talk with their teens about sex. Sometimes it’s just as important to know what not to do as it is to know what to do. So I thought it would be great to hear directly from teens.

I believe the following letters will speak for themselves…

1. Yelling:

I thought I was in love with this boy until your class.  My mother has always told me these things, but she yelled so I didn’t listen.  I really want to thank you. Now I will be a virgin until I’m married. 

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Six Things I Learned from a Former Student’s Phone Call

Cell PhoneI received a call Saturday from a soon to be 22 -year-old young lady who served on the leadership team of an after-school club I worked with when she was in high school.  I had not spoken with her since she graduated from high school.

She began by telling me she had wanted to talk with me for a couple years, but had just built up enough courage to call me. She was reluctant to call because she was ashamed of her decision to begin having sex at 19 years old. She was also afraid I would be disappointed in her.

As I listened to her talk about how she was parented and why she made the decision to have sex, I heard some very interesting things that I would like to share with you:

1. Children need rules and want high expectations!

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Fatherless Sons: Exposing the Epidemic and Breaking the Cycle

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For the past two months, I have been hearing a great deal about Oprah’s Lifeclass series on "Fatherless Sons," and was finally able to watch a full episode last night.

It was not long into last night’s show before I realized it would be difficult to watch the entire show without being reminded of the painful stories and letters that I have heard and read over the past 11 years.

One of the stories I was reminded of while watching was a conversation I had with a 9th grade young man four or five years ago. This young man waited to speak with me after class and shared the following: 

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Lessons from a Great Father!

 

 

It is easier to build strong boys than to repair broken men. ~Frederick Douglass

 

 

Last week I introduced you to Mr. Charles Johnson, who raised an adult son who made and has kept a commitment to wait until marriage for sex. In today’s post I will share Part 2 of my interview with Mr. Johnson. 

Before I share some of the actual questions and answers, there are a couple things that really stood out to me during the interview that warrant mentioning. 

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TRUTH that Sets them Free!

TRUTH

Every word that came out of your mouth was the truth
The truth shall set me free now thanks to you.
~High School Student

 

Truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth—that’s what teenagers want, but find so hard to get from adults.

If you don’t believe me, check out the following excerpts from two students’ letters:

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How do children spell “LOVE?”

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What is good for the goose is good for the gander

I had a conversation with a 16-year-old young man today who was scared he might have gotten a girl pregnant. Although they didn’t go “all the way”, they had done enough for him to be afraid she may have gotten pregnant. [Read more…]

When Silence is NOT Golden

 

When you mentioned the parents not giving their child the ‘talk’, I kind of related. My mother had me when she was roughly 13. She has not given me that talk yet. Knowing that, I do sometimes think it’s okay to have sex.- High School Student

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