The (Dad)vantages of an Involved Father in a Teen Girl’s Life

Welcome back to the second post in my Let's Talk Teens with Dr. Tartt series. Hopefully, you found last week's discussion about the #1 issue facing teen girls today as insightful as I did.

If you missed it, go here to catch up and discover how to help your daughter avoid it.

Today, Dr. Tartt and I are talking dads and daughters.

If you're a long-time reader of my blog, you may be thinking, "Another post about fathers?”

The short answer is YES!

There's a reason why I dedicated an entire chapter of my book 7 Secrets Guys Will Never Tell You to the subject…

Why I created an online webinar for parents specifically addressing The Daddy-Daughter Dynamic

And why I couldn't wait to seek Dr. Tartt's professional advice on the topic…

The reason?

Because this topic comes up again and again, in class and in countless letters girls write me…

Because there's no denying the advantages teen girls experience when they have a healthy relationship with their fathers…

And we want to help as many girls as possible experience those same advantages!

Breaking Down the Benefits

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The #1 Issue Facing Teen Girls Today? Hint: It’s Probably Not What You Think!

For years, moms have approached me to “counsel” their daughters one-on-one.

Hoping I can determine whether underlying issues have contributed to them making poor sexual decisions.

And I get it. Teen girls’ sexual decisions are often the result of them medicating pain.

I see it on their faces when the information I share in class hits too close to home.

It’s like I’ve ripped off a scab before deep wounds have had time to heal.  

They are often in pain and it is real and raw. And truth be told, I feel guilty for exposing a wound without being able to heal it.

I wish I could heal every hurt of every girl who is visibly shaken during class or pours out her heart to me after class. But I can’t.

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Knowing This One Thing Can Help Your Daughter Bypass #Back2School Heartache

beauty girl cryWow! I can’t believe we’ve already reached the end of my #Back2School with Jackie B series.

I was excited to share this series with you because so much of what happens in a teen girl’s life happens at school. Good and bad.

Thankfully, many of the “bad” experiences girls face can be avoided with a little preparation.

During this time of year, parents tend to focus their attention on the physical preparations for #back2school (i.e. uniforms and supplies). What’s overlooked is the social preparation.

And I believe that is the difference between your daughter having a drama-filled new school year, and one that is drama-free. (Pretty sure I know which you’d prefer.)

So, if you’re new to my blog or have missed any of the previous posts from this series, here’s a quick rundown:

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Three #Back2School Conversations You NEED to Have With Your Daughter!

teen daughter and mother talking

Welcome back to my #Back2School with Jackie B blog post series. I hope you’ve found the first two posts to be helpful for both you and your daughter as she kicks off a new school year.

You especially want to make sure your daughter has her copy of my FREE Checklist, 10 Things Every Teen Girl Needs to be F.A.B.. Go here to download it today!

In part three of the series, I would like to share three conversations I believe every parent of a teen daughter needs to have to prepare her for a successful and stress-free new school year.

Obviously, there are countless conversations that can and should be had with your daughter over the course of this school year. (The more the merrier if you ask me).

But these are three that routinely come up with girls in my classroom, that I think would have a far greater impact with your daughter if initiated by you at home.

1. "I expect you to do your best, not be 'the best.'"

One of the complaints I continue to hear from teen girls, particularly 8th graders, is that they are under constant pressure to be perfect.

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10 Things Every Girl Needs for #Back2School You Won’t Find on a Supply List

Welcome back to the second post of my #Back2School with Jackie B. series. If you live in the Southeast like I do, you’re probably cart-deep in #Back2School shopping for your daughter. 

B2S ChecklistNew clothes. New uniforms. New backpack. New school supplies. 

All are important items to have for the new year.

But if you really want to make sure your daughter is prepared for #Back2School, make sure she stocks up on the following 10 things you won’t find on any supply list:

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Three A+ Tips to Help Your Daughter Have a Distraction-Free School Year

Mother and Daughter

Time to kick-off the new school year with my #Back2School with Jackie B blog post series!

I am as excited about this series as I am about returning to the classroom.

Why? Because I get to share strategies you can use to help prepare your daughter for life at school.

Like the following three A+ tips you can implement to help your daughter focus on what's important and steer clear of distractions. Especially the "cute" kind. smiley

1. Help her write a vision and create goals.  

I find it counter-productive to tell students they should abstain from sex until they get married or even hold off until they’re adults, without helping them envision what they want their future to look like.

When teens can visualize what they stand to gain in the future (achieving their goals), they’re much more receptive to putting off unnecessary distractions in the present (having sex).

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It’s Not Responsible. It’s Not Fashionable. Anal Sex is Risky Teen Behavior!

About 9 or 10 years ago, I’ll never forget how shocked I was when I received multiple questions from 8th grade girls at a private middle school about the safety of anal sex.

They wanted to know whether they would still be a virgin and whether they could get pregnant by having anal sex.

Fast forward to today and it’s difficult for teens to shock me with any question they ask.

They’re teens. Their brains aren’t fully developed.  Which means they don’t always associate the potential consequences with their behaviors.

I do however continue to be shocked when I hear or read about adults encouraging risky sexual behavior, as was the case recently.

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Teen Vogue magazine published a disturbing article in its July 7th issue titled, "Anal Sex: What You Need to Know (How to do it the RIGHT way)."

Yes, you read that correctly. An article normalizing anal sex in a magazine specifically written and marketed to teen girls.

In case you don’t have time to read the entire article, the following gives you an idea of what it says:

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From Boys to Men: How a Slew of Guys Confirmed 7 Secrets was Worth Writing

If I had to sum up the whirlwind that was last week, I’d have to say it was “Man-tastic!” 😃

Last week I had the privilege of participating in four separate events. Each one presented the opportunity to share 7 Secrets with guys of ALL ages, and boy did they get it!

It all started last Tuesday when I was joined by my friend and former teaching partner, Michael Calloway, in hosting a FREE post-Father’s Day webinar, The Daddy-Daughter Dynamic: How Engaged Fathers Lead to Empowered Daughters.

Let me tell you, if you didn’t sign-up for this free online training, you missed a treat!

Michael and I shared life-affirming information, including material from Chapter 6 of 7 Secrets, with almost 100 caring fathers and mothers of teen girls. In just over an hour, we provided them with 8 actionable tips to empower their daughters to avoid or ditch “daddy issues” and become healthy, confident, and successful young ladies who know their worth in and outside of a relationship.

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What a Difference a Dad Makes: How Engaged Fathers Empower Their Daughters

Happy father applying chocolate spread on croissant for daughter in domestic room

There’s a lot of attention paid to the negative impact of fatherlessness on daughters, and I am the first to tell you that it is a real issue with many of the girls I teach.

However, in honor of Father’s Day, I’d like to flip that around and focus on the positive impact of fathers who are actively engaged in their daughters’ lives.

Especially when it comes to their decisions regarding love, sex, and relationships.

The following are three ways daughters are empowered in their dating decisions by actively engaged dads.

  1. They lean in to positive parent pressure. In the same way that positive “peer” pressure influences girls like your daughter to make healthy choices (like abstaining), having an engaged father influences them to make healthy choices too.  In this case, her goal isn’t to fit in with peers she likes and wants to impress, but to keep from disappointing her dad, whom she loves and wants to make proud.

If I had sex, not only would I regret doing something I can’t take back, but my dad knowing I didn’t respect myself would hurt him emotionally too.

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When Teen Romance Turns Tragic: How Teen Girls Form Unhealthy Emotional Attachments & What You Can Do to Intervene

Depressed Teenage Girl Sitting In Bedroom With Pills

I’ve heard teen girls say that they love hard or when they fall in love, they fall hard. They say it as if that’s a badge of honor.

What does that mean anyway? Loving hard!

Does it mean that they’ll blindly give their hearts, souls and bodies to their boyfriends, no questions asked?

I have a big heart and I love fast and hard and guys take advantage of that.

That they fully intend to marry their boyfriends one day, and as a result, believe it their sole responsibility or “wifely duty,” to make sure their “husbands” are happy?

Before you came to speak to us, I always had my mind focused on the fact that making a guy happy is all there is to life.

Or maybe “loving hard” means these girls get so emotionally wrapped up in their relationships, that they are unable to cope when something goes wrong or it eventually ends.

In a few of my past relationships I have had sex, and when they ended I felt devastated and empty.

Loving Hard + Sex = A Powder Keg! 

I’m concerned when I meet girls whose entire world revolves around their relationships.

Is that healthy at their age, considering there’s only a slim chance that teen relationships will last past their teen years? 

Earlier this week I read about the tragic story of an 18-year-old girl in Cincinnati, OH, who committed suicide in her dorm room. 

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