10 Things Every Girl Needs for #Back2School You Won’t Find on a Supply List

Welcome back to the second post of my #Back2School with Jackie B. series. If you live in the Southeast like I do, you’re probably cart-deep in #Back2School shopping for your daughter. 

B2S ChecklistNew clothes. New uniforms. New backpack. New school supplies. 

All are important items to have for the new year.

But if you really want to make sure your daughter is prepared for #Back2School, make sure she stocks up on the following 10 things you won’t find on any supply list:

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3 A+ Tips to Help Your Daughter Have a Distraction-Free School Year

Mother and Daughter

Time to kick-off the new school year with my #Back2School with Jackie B blog post series!

I am as excited about this series as I am about returning to the classroom.

Why? Because I get to share strategies you can use to help prepare your daughter for life at school.

Like the following three A+ tips you can implement to help your daughter focus on what's important and steer clear of distractions. Especially the "cute" kind. smiley

1. Help her write a vision and create goals.  

I find it counter-productive to tell students they should abstain from sex until they get married or even hold off until they’re adults, without helping them envision what they want their future to look like.

When teens can visualize what they stand to gain in the future (achieving their goals), they’re much more receptive to putting off unnecessary distractions in the present (having sex).

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The Self-Fulfilling Prophecy That Could Hurt Your Daughter!

Girls who take my class often complain that guys who won’t pressure them to have sex don’t exist.

I find that’s one of the biggest lies girls believe. And one that I gladly disprove every chance I get (like in Chapter 7 of my book, 7 Secrets Guys Will Never Tell You).

When these same girls do come across a young man who is more than happy to wait, they often believe one of the following:

1.  The guy is gay.

I used to have trouble explaining to the girl I love why I wouldn't have sex with her. It dumbfounds her. Sometimes she calls me gay…, but I just shrug it off.

2.  He’s cheating on her.

After school on Friday, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex and I said to her, ‘We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to. I don’t want you to think that I’m using you because I’m not. I can go on till marriage without this.’ She was furious. She got up and began to question if I was cheating on her. She started asking me if I was getting it from some other girl and if I didn’t want her anymore. I sat her down and told her where I was coming from, but…she still either wants to have sex with me or thinks I must be cheating. Time well wasted…

3.  He doesn’t find her attractive.

I am sexually active and this girl is the perfect example of what you spoke about. I have noticed that she has low self-esteem because of how jealous she is…She keeps me around so she can hear that she’s beautiful. She’s broken inside and out. Typically, a guy takes advantage of a girl like this, but I don't want to fit the stereotype of the typical guy. But, us without sex rips her apart inside. She thinks the worst and feels that if we're not having sex then she’s either unattractive or I'm cheating on her. What is the best way to go about this?

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When Teen Romance Turns Tragic: How Teen Girls Form Unhealthy Emotional Attachments & What You Can Do to Intervene

Depressed Teenage Girl Sitting In Bedroom With Pills

I’ve heard teen girls say that they love hard or when they fall in love, they fall hard. They say it as if that’s a badge of honor.

What does that mean anyway? Loving hard!

Does it mean that they’ll blindly give their hearts, souls and bodies to their boyfriends, no questions asked?

I have a big heart and I love fast and hard and guys take advantage of that.

That they fully intend to marry their boyfriends one day, and as a result, believe it their sole responsibility or “wifely duty,” to make sure their “husbands” are happy?

Before you came to speak to us, I always had my mind focused on the fact that making a guy happy is all there is to life.

Or maybe “loving hard” means these girls get so emotionally wrapped up in their relationships, that they are unable to cope when something goes wrong or it eventually ends.

In a few of my past relationships I have had sex, and when they ended I felt devastated and empty.

Loving Hard + Sex = A Powder Keg! 

I’m concerned when I meet girls whose entire world revolves around their relationships.

Is that healthy at their age, considering there’s only a slim chance that teen relationships will last past their teen years? 

Earlier this week I read about the tragic story of an 18-year-old girl in Cincinnati, OH, who committed suicide in her dorm room. 

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Why are Teens Really Having Sex? It’s Not What You May Think!

Young couple kissing

I believe students find my presentation to be so effective because I don’t use the fear of contracting STD’s or getting pregnant to persuade them not to have sex. While the “scared straight” approach may work at convincing most teens to avoid jail, it doesn’t convince most to avoid sex. 

Why? Because raging hormones that need to be scared straight into submission aren’t the real reason teens are having sex based on what my students tell me in the letters they write – especially girls. In fact, in many cases, they don’t even want to have sex as you’ll see in the clip below.

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7 Secrets Book Update: The Ultimate Guide Every Teen Girl Needs

Shortly after I shared in a post in April that my book would be released in July, an unexpected obstacle caused a delay in the release of the book. I was disappointed because I was looking forward to finally getting the book into the hands of young ladies who so desperately need to read it. It didn’t take long for me to realize that the delay was a blessing in disguise.

After things didn’t work out with the first graphic designer I hired, I found a book des7SecretsCoverInteriorigner who provided advice that will result in me publishing a much better product.  One of the first things he recommended was a redesign of the book cover.

How do you like the new design?

He also recommended a different method of printing that would allow me to add color to the interior at a reasonable cost.

Taking my own advice!

When I speak to girls about their relationships, I share the following:

The enemy of best is not bad; the enemy of best is good!

How ironic that I was fully prepared to publish what I thought was a “good” book, until my book designer, Michael Rohani, showed me how I could publish a “best” book.

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From Labor Pains to Labor of Love: My Journey to Birthing My 1st Book

As you know, it has been months since I last posted to my blog. (Are those crickets I’m hearing?) If you follow me on Facebook, you already know why my hiatus hasn’t been a complete waste of time.

Who said writing a book was easy?

Whoever it is, they lied! The road to becoming an author has definitely been the toughest road I’ve ever traveled in my life.

Without a doubt, the hardest part of writing 7 Secrets Guys Will Never Tell You: A Teen Girl’s Guide on Love, Sex and Relationships, was the actual writing itself. Add to that my being the perfectionist that I am, and you have a recipe for a long, drawn out process. I’ve probably written, edited and rewritten the book more times than necessary, but it. is. finally. finished!

I finished writing the manuscript at the beginning of the year, only to realize that I was just getting started.  There was still much work to do.

So what have I been doing over the past three months since I wrote my last blog post? Well, after realizing I was never going to have the “perfect” manuscript, I finally sent my baby off to be professionally edited. Next it was time to focus on the book cover design.

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The Big Brother Advice Every Girl Needs to Hear: Korey Talks Love, Sex & Relationships

The most popular post of my Conversation with Korey series thus far, has been this one where Korey talks about the impact of fatherlessness on girls. It clearly struck a chord with a lot of people as I'd hoped it would. And I pray today’s post will do the same.

Tune in as Korey shares big brother wisdom with girls on love, sex and relationships – topics that many of them could benefit hearing from a caring young man’s perspective.

What’s Love Got to Do with It?

When it comes to teenage girls, love has a lot to do with it. The problem is many of them have a skewed definition of love, due in large part to the media. And our culture has trivialized what it means, to the point where now sex has become synonymous with love. Now there’s almost a reprogramming that has to happen, so that girls will know how to recognize authentic love that is mutually beneficial and healthy for both people involved.

As Korey points out, love should never make or break a girl. If he had a little sister, he would tell her that she can’t look to another person to discover who she is. Korey would also advise her not to compromise who she is-her value, her beliefs-all in the name of so-called “love.”

The advice Korey shares in today’s clip, for the little sister he never had, is spot on for any young lady.  He encourages her to avoid wrapping herself up in another person to the point where she loses sight of who she is.

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#DadsMatter: Korey Explains How Fatherless Girls Become Easy Prey for Guys

Hopefully by now the Conversation with Korey blog series has sparked honest, open-ended discussions between you and your teen. The practical tips Korey shared last week are great for any guy or girl who’s made a commitment to abstain and needs additional inspiration on how to “sex-proof” their day-to-day decisions.

In today’s post, Korey and I delve into the highly sensitive topic of fatherlessness and its impact on girls. Before we begin, now feels like a great time to offer my disclaimer: The purpose of this post is not to assign blame to anyone for the very complex subject of fatherlessness. Our goal is simply to highlight some of the issues that girls without fathers face as a result.

While this is never a fun topic to discuss, it’s one that am forced to address every time I speak to girls. So many of them are suffering the negative effects of not having dads in their lives, which almost always shows up in their relationships with boys. That’s why I wanted to get Korey’s take on it. 

The insight he offers as a young man who has encountered, been in relationships and/or had sex with young ladies without fathers, is worthy of taking notes.

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How Korey Sex-Proofed his Life: Practical Tips that can Work for Teens too!

For a young man, Korey is full of wisdom that both teens and their parents can glean from, don’t you agree? And once again with this week’s Conversation with Korey, he doesn’t disappoint!

It’s one thing to say you’re going to stop having sex, but it’s something else entirely to actually live out your commitment on a daily basis. But that’s exactly what Korey has done over the past couple of years.

Today Korey and I discuss what it really takes to sex-proof your life so you can live sex-free till marriage.

Free your Mind and the Rest will Follow

It wasn’t until Korey changed his mind about sex, that he was able to change his behavior. What followed was him setting boundaries for himself in several key areas you’re going to want to take note of. Including:

  • What he listened to
  • What he watched
  • Who he hung out with
  • How he referred to himself

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