What Teen Guys “Get” About Commitment That Teen Girls Don’t!

People in love with african little girl and boy holding hands in park. Cropped view

In last week’s post, I talked about how girls view sex as “forever,” and guys do not.  It is the same thing with commitment. Teen girls imagine a “happily ever after” while guys think “we’re monogamous for now.”

And you know what? I can’t be mad at guys for that.

What Guys “Get” that Girls Don’t

Here’s why I think guys get commitment right, and I wish girls would take a page out of their book:

After a girl in class complained about boys being unable to commit in a relationship, a young man who had admitted earlier to being sexually active commented, 

Why do girls expect long-term commitments at our age? We are too immature to commit. We don’t really know who we are yet, and the person I am now is probably different than the person I’ll be later. If I don’t even know who I’m going to be in 5 years, why do they expect us to know who we want to be with in 5 years?

“We are too immature…We don’t really know who we are yet…”

Ding! Ding! Ding!

[Read more…]

Three #Back2School Conversations You NEED to Have With Your Daughter!

teen daughter and mother talking

Welcome back to my #Back2School with Jackie B blog post series. I hope you’ve found the first two posts to be helpful for both you and your daughter as she kicks off a new school year.

You especially want to make sure your daughter has her copy of my FREE Checklist, 10 Things Every Teen Girl Needs to be F.A.B.. Go here to download it today!

In part three of the series, I would like to share three conversations I believe every parent of a teen daughter needs to have to prepare her for a successful and stress-free new school year.

Obviously, there are countless conversations that can and should be had with your daughter over the course of this school year. (The more the merrier if you ask me).

But these are three that routinely come up with girls in my classroom, that I think would have a far greater impact with your daughter if initiated by you at home.

1. "I expect you to do your best, not be 'the best.'"

One of the complaints I continue to hear from teen girls, particularly 8th graders, is that they are under constant pressure to be perfect.

[Read more…]

10 Things Every Girl Needs for #Back2School You Won’t Find on a Supply List

Welcome back to the second post of my #Back2School with Jackie B. series. If you live in the Southeast like I do, you’re probably cart-deep in #Back2School shopping for your daughter. 

B2S ChecklistNew clothes. New uniforms. New backpack. New school supplies. 

All are important items to have for the new year.

But if you really want to make sure your daughter is prepared for #Back2School, make sure she stocks up on the following 10 things you won’t find on any supply list:

[Read more…]

Three A+ Tips to Help Your Daughter Have a Distraction-Free School Year

Mother and Daughter

Time to kick-off the new school year with my #Back2School with Jackie B blog post series!

I am as excited about this series as I am about returning to the classroom.

Why? Because I get to share strategies you can use to help prepare your daughter for life at school.

Like the following three A+ tips you can implement to help your daughter focus on what's important and steer clear of distractions. Especially the "cute" kind. smiley

1. Help her write a vision and create goals.  

I find it counter-productive to tell students they should abstain from sex until they get married or even hold off until they’re adults, without helping them envision what they want their future to look like.

When teens can visualize what they stand to gain in the future (achieving their goals), they’re much more receptive to putting off unnecessary distractions in the present (having sex).

[Read more…]

#GraduationGoals2017: When Girls Plan to Lose Their Virginity Just in Time for College & How to Help Them Change Their Expiration Date

It’s hard to believe another school year is over, and high school graduations are right around the corner.

Perhaps your daughter or a young lady you know is a member of the Class of 2017. No doubt she’s spent months, if not years, dreaming about life after high school—going to college, embarking upon a journey to a new career, moving away from home for the first time, and gaining her freedom from adult supervision.

If your high school grad is anything like some of the girls I encounter in class, those college dreams come with #GraduationGoals, like:

  • finalizing their college pick,
  • designing the perfect dorm room,
  • deciding on a major,
  • and losing their virginity.

You read that last one right. I’ve even had girls as young as thirteen admit this is their goal.

Before hearing you speak, if you had asked me when I thought I’d have sex, I probably would have said, ‘Hopefully by the time I enter college.'

Why Girls Set a Virginity Expiration Date

As I shared in an earlier post, the pressure girls feel to set high school graduation as their virginity expiration date is largely self-inflicted.

Why? Two reasons.

[Read more…]

The Ripple Effect: 2016 Edition

stones in a water

 

"I alone cannot change the world; but I can cast a stone across the waters to create many ripples."
~Mother Theresa

 

It’s hard to believe that 2017 is already here.  Am I the only one that feels like the days are passing faster and faster each year? 

I’m always blown away each year as I assemble the data to share the review of my previous year.

2016_Review

The Power of Life is in the Tongue!

But it’s never about the numbers for me.  I don’t gauge my success by the number of students who hear me speak, the number of letters I receive or the number of commitments made. If I can make a positive impact on the life of just one student, it’s worth it! Letters like this young lady’s below is the only encouragement I need to continue “casting stones across the waters.”

[Read more…]

The Ripple Effect: 2015 Edition

stones in a water

 

 

“I alone cannot change the world; but I can cast a stone across the waters to create many ripples.” ~Mother Theresa

 

I hope your new year has gotten off to a great start! It's hard to believe the month of January is almost over and I’m just getting around to sharing my 2015 review, which may be an indication that 2016 is going to be just as busy as 2015 was.

Each year, as I assemble the data to share my review of the previous year, I’m always blown away when I look at the numbers.

[Read more…]

How Korey Sex-Proofed his Life: Practical Tips that can Work for Teens too!

For a young man, Korey is full of wisdom that both teens and their parents can glean from, don’t you agree? And once again with this week’s Conversation with Korey, he doesn’t disappoint!

It’s one thing to say you’re going to stop having sex, but it’s something else entirely to actually live out your commitment on a daily basis. But that’s exactly what Korey has done over the past couple of years.

Today Korey and I discuss what it really takes to sex-proof your life so you can live sex-free till marriage.

Free your Mind and the Rest will Follow

It wasn’t until Korey changed his mind about sex, that he was able to change his behavior. What followed was him setting boundaries for himself in several key areas you’re going to want to take note of. Including:

  • What he listened to
  • What he watched
  • Who he hung out with
  • How he referred to himself

[Read more…]

Korey Tells All: Who Says Teen Guys Aren’t Looking for Value and Acceptance?

Last week I introduced you to my mentee Korey Harris, a 26-year-old young man who discovered peace after giving up sex several years ago.

One thing about Korey that stands out, in real life as well as on video, is how authentic he is. He’s a young man with amazing drive and the determination to start his own basketball skill development business.  He trains both collegiate and professional players, even as a student-athlete himself. And Korey doesn’t shy away from the fact that he’s never played basketball on a professional level. He owns it. Much like he owns his decision to abstain from sex.

There’s an ease and comfort level about Korey that comes from knowing and accepting who he is and what he’s about. But he’ll be the first to tell you, he wasn’t always so sure of himself.

Acting Out for Acceptance

In this next clip from my Conversation with Korey series, we discuss how the promise of being the first person in Korey’s family to graduate from college, almost slipped through his fingers.

A misdirected need for acceptance by “friends” who didn’t have his best interests at heart, led to him engaging in behavior that contradicted the positive upbringing his mother worked hard to instill in him.

Thankfully, that’s not where Korey’s story ends!

[Read more…]

Discover How a 26-year-old Man Found Peace After Giving up Sex

One of the perks of my job is that I get to meet so many awesome young people. Several of whom I’ve also had the privilege of mentoring. These young adults not only walk the walk by practicing abstinence post high-school/college, but they also talk the talk by sharing their insight and experiences with middle and high school students, parents and/or anyone who’ll listen.

My mentees are one of the reasons why I remain encouraged to continue teaching my unique brand of Sex-Ed message. They prove that it can and does resonate with both girls and guys, including mentee Korey Harris.

An Interview with Korey

At 26 years old, Korey is a student-athlete, author and entrepreneur with his own athletic training company. He has also been celibate for more than two years.

[Read more…]