#GraduationGoals2017: When Girls Plan to Lose Their Virginity Just in Time for College & How to Help Them Change Their Expiration Date

It’s hard to believe another school year is over, and high school graduations are right around the corner.

Perhaps your daughter or a young lady you know is a member of the Class of 2017. No doubt she’s spent months, if not years, dreaming about life after high school—going to college, embarking upon a journey to a new career, moving away from home for the first time, and gaining her freedom from adult supervision.

If your high school grad is anything like some of the girls I encounter in class, those college dreams come with #GraduationGoals, like:

  • finalizing their college pick,
  • designing the perfect dorm room,
  • deciding on a major,
  • and losing their virginity.

You read that last one right. I’ve even had girls as young as thirteen admit this is their goal.

Before hearing you speak, if you had asked me when I thought I’d have sex, I probably would have said, ‘Hopefully by the time I enter college.'

Why Girls Set a Virginity Expiration Date

As I shared in an earlier post, the pressure girls feel to set high school graduation as their virginity expiration date is largely self-inflicted.

Why? Two reasons.

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The Ripple Effect: 2016 Edition

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"I alone cannot change the world; but I can cast a stone across the waters to create many ripples."
~Mother Theresa

 

It’s hard to believe that 2017 is already here.  Am I the only one that feels like the days are passing faster and faster each year? 

I’m always blown away each year as I assemble the data to share the review of my previous year.

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The Power of Life is in the Tongue!

But it’s never about the numbers for me.  I don’t gauge my success by the number of students who hear me speak, the number of letters I receive or the number of commitments made. If I can make a positive impact on the life of just one student, it’s worth it! Letters like this young lady’s below is the only encouragement I need to continue “casting stones across the waters.”

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The Ripple Effect: 2015 Edition

stones in a water

 

 

“I alone cannot change the world; but I can cast a stone across the waters to create many ripples.” ~Mother Theresa

 

I hope your new year has gotten off to a great start! It's hard to believe the month of January is almost over and I’m just getting around to sharing my 2015 review, which may be an indication that 2016 is going to be just as busy as 2015 was.

Each year, as I assemble the data to share my review of the previous year, I’m always blown away when I look at the numbers.

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How Korey Sex-Proofed his Life: Practical Tips that can Work for Teens too!

For a young man, Korey is full of wisdom that both teens and their parents can glean from, don’t you agree? And once again with this week’s Conversation with Korey, he doesn’t disappoint!

It’s one thing to say you’re going to stop having sex, but it’s something else entirely to actually live out your commitment on a daily basis. But that’s exactly what Korey has done over the past couple of years.

Today Korey and I discuss what it really takes to sex-proof your life so you can live sex-free till marriage.

Free your Mind and the Rest will Follow

It wasn’t until Korey changed his mind about sex, that he was able to change his behavior. What followed was him setting boundaries for himself in several key areas you’re going to want to take note of. Including:

  • What he listened to
  • What he watched
  • Who he hung out with
  • How he referred to himself

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Korey Tells All: Who Says Teen Guys Aren’t Looking for Value and Acceptance?

Last week I introduced you to my mentee Korey Harris, a 26-year-old young man who discovered peace after giving up sex several years ago.

One thing about Korey that stands out, in real life as well as on video, is how authentic he is. He’s a young man with amazing drive and the determination to start his own basketball skill development business.  He trains both collegiate and professional players, even as a student-athlete himself. And Korey doesn’t shy away from the fact that he’s never played basketball on a professional level. He owns it. Much like he owns his decision to abstain from sex.

There’s an ease and comfort level about Korey that comes from knowing and accepting who he is and what he’s about. But he’ll be the first to tell you, he wasn’t always so sure of himself.

Acting Out for Acceptance

In this next clip from my Conversation with Korey series, we discuss how the promise of being the first person in Korey’s family to graduate from college, almost slipped through his fingers.

A misdirected need for acceptance by “friends” who didn’t have his best interests at heart, led to him engaging in behavior that contradicted the positive upbringing his mother worked hard to instill in him.

Thankfully, that’s not where Korey’s story ends!

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Discover How a 26-year-old Man Found Peace After Giving up Sex

One of the perks of my job is that I get to meet so many awesome young people. Several of whom I’ve also had the privilege of mentoring. These young adults not only walk the walk by practicing abstinence post high-school/college, but they also talk the talk by sharing their insight and experiences with middle and high school students, parents and/or anyone who’ll listen.

My mentees are one of the reasons why I remain encouraged to continue teaching my unique brand of Sex-Ed message. They prove that it can and does resonate with both girls and guys, including mentee Korey Harris.

An Interview with Korey

At 26 years old, Korey is a student-athlete, author and entrepreneur with his own athletic training company. He has also been celibate for more than two years.

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How to Turn Your Sex Talk into a Vision Board

Many students are often surprised to discover that “sex” is only a fraction of what I cover with them in my Sex-Ed classes. I spend a lot of time talking to teens about having a vision and setting goals for themselves. I also let them know that I expect greatness from them, which is something I encourage parents to do in The Sex Talk Every Parent Needs to Have DVD.

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Last week I posted about a mom, after my own heart, who took my DVD and ran with it! I shared the first part of her testimonial of how she made the DVD work for her and her 13-year-old son. If you haven’t already, I strongly suggest that you read it here.

Today is Part 2 of this amazing mom’s mission to open up the lines of communication with her son.

 

 

1.  Share My Expectations with My Son

I created a list of my expectations for my son. I made sure that for each one I used positive words, which presupposes positive actions. I read through the list with him and asked him if he had any concerns. I also offered an explanation for each expectation so he would know what I meant. He said he understood. These expectations are now posted on his bedroom door. The full quote from your DVD escapes me at the moment, but I remember something about “greatness being achieved when greatness is expected…” I may have it wrong at this moment, but that quote is what sparked the idea to write down and post my expectations of him.

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A Real Mom’s Guide to Having the Sex Talk with Her Son

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For years parents have sought my advice on how to talk to their kids about sex. Some have even asked me to have “The Talk” with their kids on their behalf. There was no way I could physically speak to every child whose parent(s) requested, nor would I want to rob any parent of having an open and honest dialogue about sex and relationships with their child. However, I recognized that many parents were clueless about how to even begin the conversation. Thus The Sex Talk Every Parent Should Have DVD was born.

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2014: My Year in Review!

It’s hard to believe that the first two weeks of 2015 have already passed. I’m hoping that’s not an indication of what’s in store for the balance of the year—time moving so fast that I barely remember it.

Each year, as I assemble the data to share my review of the previous year, I’m always blown away when I look at the numbers.

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But, for me it’s not about the numbers. What I remember most are the individual students, their faces and their stories. Oftentimes, heart-wrenching stories. And other times, stories that warm my heart.

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That Time I Gave Birth to Twins

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This time last year I was working on writing my first book for teen girls, The Seven Secrets Guys Will Never Tell You. Though I managed to finish the first draft, which was a major accomplishment for me, unfortunately you will not find that book on the shelves of any bookstore.

Let’s just say that for me, as a speaker, writing a book is much more daunting than standing in front of thousands giving a presentation. So, I decided that producing DVDs of my presentations might be a much easier undertaking. I was right!

While I have been working on the book in some form for several years, within a period of 6 months, from start to finish, my DVDs entitled, “Dreams, Decisions, Destinies: The Sex Talk Every Teen Girl/Guy Needs to Hear” were available for purchase. I felt like a proud mama who had just given birth to twins.

I have been blown away by the response to my “twins” that I have gotten from teens and parents alike. Below are just a few of the testimonials:

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