5 Things You Want Your Teen Daughter to Leave Behind in 2017

December 30, 2017 by Leave a Comment

Untitled designFor many adults, this is the time of year when we conduct an annual review of our own lives over the past 365 days.

We anticipate what we'd like to accomplish and who we want to be in the new year by first reflecting over the one we've just had—the good, the bad, and the ugly.

I believe it's a good idea for teens to do the same.

So, I encourage you to help your daughter take a personal inventory of what worked well and what didn't this year. 

That way, she'll know what to carry over from 2017. And more importantly what NOT to carry over into 2018.

Forgetting those things which lay behind…

To get the ball rolling, here are five things I believe every teen girl should leave behind in 2017:

1.  The need to please. So many girls tell me they have sex because they want to make their boyfriends happy. As if making their boyfriends happy is their sole purpose in life. It's heartbreaking to witness. That's why it's so important that you remind your daughter often that she is NOT responsible for any guy's happiness. Only her own, which is more than enough.

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All I Want for Christmas is…

December 23, 2017 by Leave a Comment

shutterstock_149051369Is it just me, or does it seem like the “gift giving & receiving” tradition of Christmas loses much of its appeal once you become an adult?

If your childhood was anything like mine, the excitement of receiving a gift on Christmas was mainly because it was something that you had been dying to get the whole year.

Plus, you knew your only hope of getting it was for a special occasion, like your birthday or Christmas.

Let’s be honest, once most of us become adults, anything we want, we tend to purchase.

Which means, we unnecessarily stress ourselves out trying to figure out what to get the person who already has everything he/she wants or needs.

Not to mention that the gift giving & receiving often overshadows the REAL reason for Christmas—to celebrate the birth of Jesus. 

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Filed Under: Love

Confidence: The Gift that Keeps on Giving

December 16, 2017 by Leave a Comment

Portrait of an attractive young woman posing with her hand on hip. Beautiful african woman in stylish casuals posing outdoors.

If you were to ask me what is the one thing that can make the difference in whether a girl says yes or no to sex, I'd say CONFIDENCE!

Yet, as important as actively engaged fathers and unconditional love are to a teen girl's decision-making regarding sex, I believe the determining factor in whether she says yes or no is confidence. 

Confidence is Key!

Am I saying that girls who have confidence will always choose to abstain?

Of course not.

But I am saying that girls who suffer from a lack of confidence are more likely to engage in sex (and other risky behaviors).

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4 Rules for Your Daughter to Date By

December 6, 2017 by Leave a Comment

Welcome back for the final post of my Let's Talk Teens® series with Dr. Tartt.

I hope you've been enlightened, encouraged and empowered by the information shared over the past month and a half. Including:

  1. The #1 Issue Facing Teen Girls Today
  2. The (Dad)vantages of an Involved Father in a Teen Girl's Life
  3. How to Help Physically Present, Emotionally Absent Fathers Engage with their Daughters
  4. How to Empower Daughters Who Don't Have Engaged Dads!
  5. Advice for the Single Mom Whose Daughter's Father is Absent
  6. Why It's Irresponsible to Deny Counseling to Teen Girls

Today, I wrap up my one-on-one with noted clinical psychologist, Dr. Alduan Tartt, as he reveals his top four dating rules for his daughter that you can tweak to use for your own.

Teen Dating Rules of Engagement

Want your daughter to make smart dating decisions?

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I Count You Among My Many Blessings!

November 23, 2017 by Leave a Comment

thanksgt_tpi

Can you believe 2017 is almost over?? I can't! Once again, the year has flown by and here we are about to celebrate another Thanksgiving. 

In honor of this special time of year, I would like to share with you a few of the things I’m thankful for.

Of course, I’m always thankful for that which is so easy to take for granted—my health, family, and friends.

I’m humbled that God would trust me to be one of His vessels bringing hope and healing to a generation of youth so desperate for TRUTH. And grateful that He continues to guide me in the best way to do so.

 A Plan for Parents

I realized in 2017 that one of the best ways to help teens make good choices is to utilize technology to equip their parents via online trainings.

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Why it’s Irresponsible to Deny Counseling to Teen Girls

November 16, 2017 by Leave a Comment

Welcome back to the sixth post of my Let's Talk Teens series featuring Dr. Tartt. With only one more remaining, now is the time to get caught up if you've missed any of the five previous posts. 

Today, Dr. Tartt and I discuss what I believe is the missing puzzle piece for many teen girls who, for various reasons, are not emotionally whole.

As I've mentioned before, these are the girls who stay after class bawling in my arms.

Or the ones who write me letters three-pages long.

Either way, the girls often reveal secrets their mothers aren't even aware of. The kind I'm sometimes mandated to report.

These young ladies come to me seeking counsel. So, I listen and offer whatever comfort and insight I can. Then I strongly encourage them to tell their mothers, and seek professional therapy.

After that it's up to their moms to pursue it.

Would you?

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Advice for the Single Mom Whose Daughter’s Father is Absent

November 5, 2017 by Leave a Comment

During the last few weeks of my Let's Talk Teens with Dr. Tartt blog post series, we've talked a lot about the importance of engaged fathers in a girl's life.

The benefits daughters reap when Dads are present and involved are undeniable.

The disadvantages daughters face when Dads are emotionally or physically absent, are equally undeniable, as Dr. Tartt shares here and here.

It would be wonderful if all teen girls fell into the first category.

Unfortunately, many fall into the latter—daughters whose dads aren't present in their lives.

The result?

I have hundreds of letters from teen girls, who've told me they turned to their boyfriends to fill the void.

I grew up raised by a single mother and absent father. I’ve never had sex, but it’s gotten close. And it’s true that I think it’s just a way to fill a void and I struggle with it daily.

Even guys write me about girls expecting them to fill the void of their absent fathers.

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How to Empower Daughters Who Don’t Have Engaged Dads!

October 28, 2017 by Leave a Comment

Imagine what it would be like if every daughter had a healthy relationship with a great father who validates, protects, guides and provides for her.

Talk about (dad)vantages. We could retire the term "daddy issues" once and for all!

If only…

But unfortunately, many teen girls don't have much of a relationship with their fathers at all. "Daddy issues" often plague them as a result.

I am a fifteen-year-old girl in her sophomore year. Personally, I wanted to say thank you for allowing me to realize the purpose I have. I myself am considered to have 'daddy issues.' I’ve never really had a stable relationship with my father since he walked out and divorced my mom when I was 10. Anyways, with that at hand, I’ve always felt like I needed someone to approve of me. I’ve felt unwanted and just needed someone to tell me I’m better than the stuff I’ve been thinking of doing. Basically, I just wanted to say thank you so much for helping me realize again that my morals and life mean something.

One thing I will never forget is how you spoke about how a lot of teen girls who haven’t had a good father in their life to prove them they are worth so much more, were usually the ones who seek attention and love from their boyfriend. That was always something I expected from my boyfriend. My dad isn’t a bad person overall but he never really sacrificed much to be a part of my life which I resent about him a lot. Therefore, I use to expect so much from my boyfriend. I never thought of myself as you explained I should.

You know what I wish?

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How to Help Physically Present, Emotionally Absent Fathers Engage with Their Daughters

October 23, 2017 by Leave a Comment

I'm so glad you're back for the third post of my Let's Talk Teens with Dr. Tartt series. Thank you so much for sharing the first two posts with your friends on social media, and for the great feedback you've provided.

Clearly the topics we're tackling are resonating with readers. And hopefully, we are adding value to you and your family!

Last week when Dr. Tartt and I discussed the (dad)vantages of an actively engaged father in a teen girl's life, we both knew we'd have to address the moms out there whose daughters haven't been able to reap the benefits.

Typically, when the subject of disengaged fathers comes up, we think of fathers who do NOT live in the home with their daughters.

Of course, this is a legitimate issue of concern. And believe me, it's one I receive countless letters from girls about.

But you know what's also true?

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The (Dad)vantages of an Involved Father in a Teen Girl’s Life

October 13, 2017 by Leave a Comment

Welcome back to the second post in my Let's Talk Teens with Dr. Tartt series. Hopefully, you found last week's discussion about the #1 issue facing teen girls today as insightful as I did.

If you missed it, go here to catch up and discover how to help your daughter avoid it.

Today, Dr. Tartt and I are talking dads and daughters.

If you're a long-time reader of my blog, you may be thinking, "Another post about fathers?”

The short answer is YES!

There's a reason why I dedicated an entire chapter of my book 7 Secrets Guys Will Never Tell You to the subject…

Why I created an online webinar for parents specifically addressing The Daddy-Daughter Dynamic…

And why I couldn't wait to seek Dr. Tartt's professional advice on the topic…

The reason?

Because this topic comes up again and again, in class and in countless letters girls write me…

Because there's no denying the advantages teen girls experience when they have a healthy relationship with their fathers…

And we want to help as many girls as possible experience those same advantages!

Breaking Down the Benefits

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