Can You Really Teach Selflessness to the Selfie Generation?

The answer is yes, you can! Granted, selflessness is not a topic students expect to hear when they take my Sex-Ed class, but I’ve found it to be quite effective once I break it down for them.

Teen Sex is as Selfishness Does

Every school year I introduce a new approach that becomes the focus for my classes. Last year it was selfishness vs selflessness.

As with tackling any new approach, there are a couple steps I take to introduce it:

  1. Define the Approach/Idea. I always like to begin with a definition that students can understand on their level.

“Selfish is when you make a decision that benefits you even though it hurts someone else.”

Sometimes even concepts that adults deem “simple” are anything but for teens, so I never assume they already know what I mean.

  1. Paint the picture. Let’s face it, when it comes to talking about teen sex there’s not a lot of “painting” required. Oh they get it!

But as you’ll see in the clip below, I do paint the picture of the selfishness of teen sex, especially given the very real possibility of a baby being conceived. Despite what some reality shows would have teens to believe, teen parenting is never ideal for the baby or the parents.

Connecting the Dots

I’m often amazed at how well students respond to the different approaches I share with them. As I said in the clip, it truly is a God thing!

In this case, the students whose letters I read were able to connect the dots by envisioning themselves providing the best life possible for their future child(ren). A life that selfish decisions like teen sex, make difficult to realize.

The Selfie Generation is more than capable of selflessness. They just need help seeing what they stand to gain as a result.

That’s why I also talk about the selfless nature of love, which involves looking out for the best interests of the other person as well as yourself. Unfortunately, I see so many teens settling for much less in their relationships. Especially girls.

Thankfully, the lightbulb moment happens for many girls in my class, once they realize the “love” they thought they enjoyed with their boyfriends, was nothing more than chemistry at best.

I want as many girls as possible to experience their lightbulb moment too.

That’s why I wrote 7 Secrets Guys Will Never Tell You: A Teen Girls Guide on Love, Sex, and Relationships, where I address the topic of selflessness and so much more.

Pre-order your copy today at

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