10 Ways to Raise a Daughter Who’s F.A.B. (Focused, Authentic & Brave)

May 11, 2018 by Leave a Comment

I talk a lot on the blog about the role fathers play in teen girls' lives.

There's no question that girls who have a healthy relationship with their fathers reap the "(DAD)vantages."

But today, I want to focus on the role mothers play in teen girls' lives.

Because girls who have a healthy relationship with their mothers enjoy (MOM)entum in life. (I know it's cheesy but work with me here). wink

Remember at the beginning of this school year, when I shared the 10 things every teen girl needed for Back2School (and for life), that you wouldn't find on a supply list?

I even included a special download for your daughter called 10 Things Every Teen Girl Needs to be F.A.B. (Focused, Authentic & Brave).

Today, in honor of Mother's Day, I have something just for you!

10 Ways to Raise a Daughter Who's F.A.B. (Focused, Authentic & Brave):

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Why You Never Want Your Daughter to “Stand Up” for Sexual Assault

April 8, 2018 by Leave a Comment

Sad and lonely black girl feeling depressed

Over the past few years, the college campus rape culture has captured national attention like never before due to several high-profile cases.

And that's a good thing.

The more awareness brought to the issue, the better.

But if we really want to address the problem?

We first have to recognize that sexual assault doesn't just become an issue once our kids get to college.

The same "culture" exists in high school.

…And in middle school.

…And for many, even at home.

According to the Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network (RAINN):

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How to Bridge the Communication Gap Between You and Your Teen!

March 11, 2018 by Leave a Comment

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Teaching teens about making healthy choices is not just about me giving teens information.

It's also about the information I get from them.

And boy do I learn a lot!

My goal is to take what they teach me and share it with parents like you.

Why?

To help bridge the communication gap between parents and teens.

And ultimately help you build a closer relationship with your daughter.

I start by asking girls in my class to share what they don’t understand about their parents.

And what they don’t think their parents understand about them.

Today I want to talk about two of their responses that come up in almost every class.

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How to Prevent Your Daughter from Being a Victim of Teen Dating Violence

February 25, 2018 by Leave a Comment

Teen-DV-Month

When I first started speaking to teens about healthy relationships, I didn't realize how prevalent teen dating violence was.

Not until I started receiving letters like the one below, from girls who lived through it.

I have been through a lot and I just don’t know how to tell my mom. I was with this boy and he totally turned my life upside down. At first, he was really sweet and caring and I thought that he really loved me. Then it got crazy! He hit me, called me names, called me fat, and cheated on me. Even though he did all this stuff, I stayed with him and I exploited myself. I sent him nude pictures of myself and other things. Then he told his friends. I kind of hope you read this letter in class to tell girls that they deserve better and not to stick around with someone like that because they don’t really love you like they say they do.

It didn't take long to notice common threads throughout the hundreds of letters girls have written describing abuse they suffered at the hands of a boyfriend they believed loved them.

So, I started sharing these letters in class to educate girls (and guys) about teen dating violence. With hopes that one day young ladies will no longer need to write them.

Today I'm doing the same in this post, in recognition of February being Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month.

I'm hoping that together we can prevent teen dating violence from ever becoming your daughter's story.

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The Perfect Valentine’s Gift for You and Your Teen Daughter

February 13, 2018 by Leave a Comment

The best Valentine’s Day gift you and your daughter could give each other?

For her to love herself.

Why? Because girls who love themselves are F. A.B. (Focused, Authentic & Brave).

These girls also make better choices.

When girls make better choices, parenting them becomes so much more enjoyable.

It's the gift that keeps on giving…to both you and your daughter.

There is less conflict between the two of you.

You don’t have to stay on top of her about her grades/schoolwork.

And you don't have to worry about her seeking validation from her relationship status.

Looking for Love in All the Wrong Relationships

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Confidence: The Gift that Keeps on Giving

December 16, 2017 by Leave a Comment

Portrait of an attractive young woman posing with her hand on hip. Beautiful african woman in stylish casuals posing outdoors.

If you were to ask me what is the one thing that can make the difference in whether a girl says yes or no to sex, I'd say CONFIDENCE!

Yet, as important as actively engaged fathers and unconditional love are to a teen girl's decision-making regarding sex, I believe the determining factor in whether she says yes or no is confidence. 

Confidence is Key!

Am I saying that girls who have confidence will always choose to abstain?

Of course not.

But I am saying that girls who suffer from a lack of confidence are more likely to engage in sex (and other risky behaviors).

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4 Rules for Your Daughter to Date By

December 6, 2017 by Leave a Comment

Welcome back for the final post of my Let's Talk Teens® series with Dr. Tartt.

I hope you've been enlightened, encouraged and empowered by the information shared over the past month and a half. Including:

  1. The #1 Issue Facing Teen Girls Today
  2. The (Dad)vantages of an Involved Father in a Teen Girl's Life
  3. How to Help Physically Present, Emotionally Absent Fathers Engage with their Daughters
  4. How to Empower Daughters Who Don't Have Engaged Dads!
  5. Advice for the Single Mom Whose Daughter's Father is Absent
  6. Why It's Irresponsible to Deny Counseling to Teen Girls

Today, I wrap up my one-on-one with noted clinical psychologist, Dr. Alduan Tartt, as he reveals his top four dating rules for his daughter that you can tweak to use for your own.

Teen Dating Rules of Engagement

Want your daughter to make smart dating decisions?

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Why it’s Irresponsible to Deny Counseling to Teen Girls

November 16, 2017 by Leave a Comment

Welcome back to the sixth post of my Let's Talk Teens series featuring Dr. Tartt. With only one more remaining, now is the time to get caught up if you've missed any of the five previous posts. 

Today, Dr. Tartt and I discuss what I believe is the missing puzzle piece for many teen girls who, for various reasons, are not emotionally whole.

As I've mentioned before, these are the girls who stay after class bawling in my arms.

Or the ones who write me letters three-pages long.

Either way, the girls often reveal secrets their mothers aren't even aware of. The kind I'm sometimes mandated to report.

These young ladies come to me seeking counsel. So, I listen and offer whatever comfort and insight I can. Then I strongly encourage them to tell their mothers, and seek professional therapy.

After that it's up to their moms to pursue it.

Would you?

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Advice for the Single Mom Whose Daughter’s Father is Absent

November 5, 2017 by Leave a Comment

During the last few weeks of my Let's Talk Teens with Dr. Tartt blog post series, we've talked a lot about the importance of engaged fathers in a girl's life.

The benefits daughters reap when Dads are present and involved are undeniable.

The disadvantages daughters face when Dads are emotionally or physically absent, are equally undeniable, as Dr. Tartt shares here and here.

It would be wonderful if all teen girls fell into the first category.

Unfortunately, many fall into the latter—daughters whose dads aren't present in their lives.

The result?

I have hundreds of letters from teen girls, who've told me they turned to their boyfriends to fill the void.

I grew up raised by a single mother and absent father. I’ve never had sex, but it’s gotten close. And it’s true that I think it’s just a way to fill a void and I struggle with it daily.

Even guys write me about girls expecting them to fill the void of their absent fathers.

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How to Empower Daughters Who Don’t Have Engaged Dads!

October 28, 2017 by Leave a Comment

Imagine what it would be like if every daughter had a healthy relationship with a great father who validates, protects, guides and provides for her.

Talk about (dad)vantages. We could retire the term "daddy issues" once and for all!

If only…

But unfortunately, many teen girls don't have much of a relationship with their fathers at all. "Daddy issues" often plague them as a result.

I am a fifteen-year-old girl in her sophomore year. Personally, I wanted to say thank you for allowing me to realize the purpose I have. I myself am considered to have 'daddy issues.' I’ve never really had a stable relationship with my father since he walked out and divorced my mom when I was 10. Anyways, with that at hand, I’ve always felt like I needed someone to approve of me. I’ve felt unwanted and just needed someone to tell me I’m better than the stuff I’ve been thinking of doing. Basically, I just wanted to say thank you so much for helping me realize again that my morals and life mean something.

One thing I will never forget is how you spoke about how a lot of teen girls who haven’t had a good father in their life to prove them they are worth so much more, were usually the ones who seek attention and love from their boyfriend. That was always something I expected from my boyfriend. My dad isn’t a bad person overall but he never really sacrificed much to be a part of my life which I resent about him a lot. Therefore, I use to expect so much from my boyfriend. I never thought of myself as you explained I should.

You know what I wish?

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