The Ripple Effect: 2012 Edition

stones in a water

 

I alone cannot change the world; but I can cast a stone across the waters to create many ripples. ~Mother Theresa

 

Last week I shared here that I was looking forward to the ending of my summer and the beginning of the 2013-2014 school year. After reading the post, a friend asked me how many students I had spoken to last year and if I knew how many of them made commitments to abstain from sex.

So I decided to check the numbers and they blew me away. I am now even more motivated to continue casting stones (Yes, even motivational speakers need a little motivation from time to time). 

I wanted to share my results in case they may serve as a source of motivation for you as you cast your stones.

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The End of Good. The Beginning of Great!

End of summerThe reality of the summer coming to an end really set in yesterday as I scheduled my first school assembly of the 2013-2014 school year.

Wow! Where has the time gone? It is hard to believe that I am going into my 13th school year of inspiring youth to dream bigger DREAMS, make better DECISIONS and walk into their DESTINIES!

I guess time really does fly when you’re having fun!

It seems like only yesterday when I made the decision to follow my passion instead of my purse, which has been one of the best decisions I have ever made in my life.

People often ask me whether it was scary to leave a successful career to go in a direction where I had no idea how I would get paid, and my answer is always “No!” Surprisingly, it was one of the easiest decisions I have ever made.

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Is the Goal to Reduce Teenage Pregnancies or Teenage Sex?

planb-4851f89497e60dae2f9a4722b36934fd0c7f8717-s6-c30

You may have read in the news about the decision in New York City to make Plan B emergency contraceptive available to any public high school student without her parents’ knowledge, as long as her parent did not opt out of the program.

This program was rolled out in five New York City public high schools in January 2011.  By September 2012, the program had been expanded to 13 public high schools. Today, the program is in more than 40 public high schools in New York City.

Last semester, I decided to ask students what they thought about the idea of making Plan B emergency contraceptive available confidentially to high school students.  

At the beginning of each class on the first day, I passed out a slip of paper with the following question on it:

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Why High School Boys Say “NO” to Sex!

Thank you so much for coming to talk to my class, I have a new perspective when I think about sex. I have a girlfriend of thirteen months, and when you mentioned that if you love someone you keep their best interest at heart, it really spoke to me. This is because I feel as if I do love her and I have never pressured her into sex because I know where she places her standards and I don’t think there is anything more attractive than that. And she is the only girl I have imagined having a future with. Because of your talks I have a better understanding of what is most important; and that is her, not parts of her. Thank you again for all you have said and all you do.

I am excited to share the last post in my series "Teens Tell All: Top 20 Reasons Why Teens DO and DON'T Have Sex" and I think you will be quite encouraged.

Check out the video below to learn what keeps high school boys from becoming sexually active and what you can do to help your son make the same choice.

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Why High School Girls Say “NO” to Sex!

I value and respect myself so I know I'm worth more than some physical pleasure with no commitment!

Finally! A post in my series where I share some good news with you. Today I'm talking about all of the reasons high schools girls give me for choosing to abstain from sex. 

Check out the video below to learn what keeps high school girls from becoming sexually active and what you can do to help your daughter make the same choice.

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Does She Know Her Worth?

If a girl doesn't know her worth, she will settle for what someone else is willing to spend; and she won't even know she got cheated.

For the past few weeks, I have been sharing the top reasons teens tell me they have sex. If this is the first post you have read in this series, I encourage you to spend some time reading the other posts. 

In today's post I share the final reason high school girls give me for having sex. 

Check out the video below:

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Why Daughters Need their Dads!

Daughter&Dad

When a girl’s first date is with her father, 
all other men must measure up.
~Author Unknown

 

But what happens when a girl’s father is not actively engaged in her life?

Often times she makes poor relationship choices, becomes sexually active at a young age and spends the rest of her life questioning why her father did not love her enough to want to be a part of her life.

A teen girl tells us why:

We were discussing the “father issue” in class one day and a young lady gave the following explanation as to why many young ladies make poor relationship decisions and do not always demand to be treated with respect or recognize their value:

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Love-Ed vs. Sex-Ed

Love Book

 

I think we miss the boat when we spend so much time talking to teens about sex when the better conversation is one about “love!”

When a young lady tells me she has sex in order to show her boyfriend how much she loves him (which is one reason high school girls give me for having sex), I immediately think that she needs a lesson in “Love-Ed” –a term coined by another student. And my response to her is:

What are you going to do to show yourself how much you love YOU?  You have to love yourself first before you can really love anyone else.

When you love YOU, you don’t make decisions that could jeopardize your chances of reaching your dreams and goals.  When you really love others, you don't let them make decisions that are harmful for them either.

What is more important than showing your boyfriend how much you love him is showing yourself and others how much you love and respect YOU!

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Standing Out or Fitting In: Which is your teen doing?

Girl Standing Out From the Crowd - Isolated

Welcome back to my blog series, “Teens Tell All: Top 20 Reasons Why Teens DO and DON’T Have Sex”

As I mentioned in my introduction video, I have grouped all of the reasons that high school girls have sex into five different categories. I wrote about the first category in April, which was self-medicating due to rape/molestation

My last post, where I addressed why middle school girls are planning to have sex, is closely related to the second category for high school girls, which is social acceptance.

 Below are a couple of reasons why high school girls say they have sex:

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Do You Know What’s On Their List?

TodolistThe common assumption is that teen girls are having sex because guys are pressuring them into doing so, and that is often not the case.  What may surprise you and what I am hearing from 8th grade girls is oftentimes their decision to have sex is made long before guys even ask them for sex or long before they have boyfriends in some cases.

Following are some reasons 8th grade girls have given for PLANNING to have sex:

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