10 Ways to Raise a Daughter Who’s F.A.B. (Focused, Authentic & Brave)

May 11, 2018 by Leave a Comment

I talk a lot on the blog about the role fathers play in teen girls' lives.

There's no question that girls who have a healthy relationship with their fathers reap the "(DAD)vantages."

But today, I want to focus on the role mothers play in teen girls' lives.

Because girls who have a healthy relationship with their mothers enjoy (MOM)entum in life. (I know it's cheesy but work with me here). wink

Remember at the beginning of this school year, when I shared the 10 things every teen girl needed for Back2School (and for life), that you wouldn't find on a supply list?

I even included a special download for your daughter called 10 Things Every Teen Girl Needs to be F.A.B. (Focused, Authentic & Brave).

Today, in honor of Mother's Day, I have something just for you!

10 Ways to Raise a Daughter Who's F.A.B. (Focused, Authentic & Brave):

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How to Bridge the Communication Gap Between You and Your Teen!

March 11, 2018 by Leave a Comment

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Teaching teens about making healthy choices is not just about me giving teens information.

It's also about the information I get from them.

And boy do I learn a lot!

My goal is to take what they teach me and share it with parents like you.

Why?

To help bridge the communication gap between parents and teens.

And ultimately help you build a closer relationship with your daughter.

I start by asking girls in my class to share what they don’t understand about their parents.

And what they don’t think their parents understand about them.

Today I want to talk about two of their responses that come up in almost every class.

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How to Prevent Your Daughter from Being a Victim of Teen Dating Violence

February 25, 2018 by Leave a Comment

Teen-DV-Month

When I first started speaking to teens about healthy relationships, I didn't realize how prevalent teen dating violence was.

Not until I started receiving letters like the one below, from girls who lived through it.

I have been through a lot and I just don’t know how to tell my mom. I was with this boy and he totally turned my life upside down. At first, he was really sweet and caring and I thought that he really loved me. Then it got crazy! He hit me, called me names, called me fat, and cheated on me. Even though he did all this stuff, I stayed with him and I exploited myself. I sent him nude pictures of myself and other things. Then he told his friends. I kind of hope you read this letter in class to tell girls that they deserve better and not to stick around with someone like that because they don’t really love you like they say they do.

It didn't take long to notice common threads throughout the hundreds of letters girls have written describing abuse they suffered at the hands of a boyfriend they believed loved them.

So, I started sharing these letters in class to educate girls (and guys) about teen dating violence. With hopes that one day young ladies will no longer need to write them.

Today I'm doing the same in this post, in recognition of February being Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month.

I'm hoping that together we can prevent teen dating violence from ever becoming your daughter's story.

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The Perfect Valentine’s Gift for You and Your Teen Daughter

February 13, 2018 by Leave a Comment

The best Valentine’s Day gift you and your daughter could give each other?

For her to love herself.

Why? Because girls who love themselves are F. A.B. (Focused, Authentic & Brave).

These girls also make better choices.

When girls make better choices, parenting them becomes so much more enjoyable.

It's the gift that keeps on giving…to both you and your daughter.

There is less conflict between the two of you.

You don’t have to stay on top of her about her grades/schoolwork.

And you don't have to worry about her seeking validation from her relationship status.

Looking for Love in All the Wrong Relationships

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5 Things You Want Your Teen Daughter to Leave Behind in 2017

December 30, 2017 by Leave a Comment

Untitled designFor many adults, this is the time of year when we conduct an annual review of our own lives over the past 365 days.

We anticipate what we'd like to accomplish and who we want to be in the new year by first reflecting over the one we've just had—the good, the bad, and the ugly.

I believe it's a good idea for teens to do the same.

So, I encourage you to help your daughter take a personal inventory of what worked well and what didn't this year. 

That way, she'll know what to carry over from 2017. And more importantly what NOT to carry over into 2018.

Forgetting those things which lay behind…

To get the ball rolling, here are five things I believe every teen girl should leave behind in 2017:

1.  The need to please. So many girls tell me they have sex because they want to make their boyfriends happy. As if making their boyfriends happy is their sole purpose in life. It's heartbreaking to witness. That's why it's so important that you remind your daughter often that she is NOT responsible for any guy's happiness. Only her own, which is more than enough.

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All I Want for Christmas is…

December 23, 2017 by Leave a Comment

shutterstock_149051369Is it just me, or does it seem like the “gift giving & receiving” tradition of Christmas loses much of its appeal once you become an adult?

If your childhood was anything like mine, the excitement of receiving a gift on Christmas was mainly because it was something that you had been dying to get the whole year.

Plus, you knew your only hope of getting it was for a special occasion, like your birthday or Christmas.

Let’s be honest, once most of us become adults, anything we want, we tend to purchase.

Which means, we unnecessarily stress ourselves out trying to figure out what to get the person who already has everything he/she wants or needs.

Not to mention that the gift giving & receiving often overshadows the REAL reason for Christmas—to celebrate the birth of Jesus. 

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4 Rules for Your Daughter to Date By

December 6, 2017 by Leave a Comment

Welcome back for the final post of my Let's Talk Teens® series with Dr. Tartt.

I hope you've been enlightened, encouraged and empowered by the information shared over the past month and a half. Including:

  1. The #1 Issue Facing Teen Girls Today
  2. The (Dad)vantages of an Involved Father in a Teen Girl's Life
  3. How to Help Physically Present, Emotionally Absent Fathers Engage with their Daughters
  4. How to Empower Daughters Who Don't Have Engaged Dads!
  5. Advice for the Single Mom Whose Daughter's Father is Absent
  6. Why It's Irresponsible to Deny Counseling to Teen Girls

Today, I wrap up my one-on-one with noted clinical psychologist, Dr. Alduan Tartt, as he reveals his top four dating rules for his daughter that you can tweak to use for your own.

Teen Dating Rules of Engagement

Want your daughter to make smart dating decisions?

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Advice for the Single Mom Whose Daughter’s Father is Absent

November 5, 2017 by Leave a Comment

During the last few weeks of my Let's Talk Teens with Dr. Tartt blog post series, we've talked a lot about the importance of engaged fathers in a girl's life.

The benefits daughters reap when Dads are present and involved are undeniable.

The disadvantages daughters face when Dads are emotionally or physically absent, are equally undeniable, as Dr. Tartt shares here and here.

It would be wonderful if all teen girls fell into the first category.

Unfortunately, many fall into the latter—daughters whose dads aren't present in their lives.

The result?

I have hundreds of letters from teen girls, who've told me they turned to their boyfriends to fill the void.

I grew up raised by a single mother and absent father. I’ve never had sex, but it’s gotten close. And it’s true that I think it’s just a way to fill a void and I struggle with it daily.

Even guys write me about girls expecting them to fill the void of their absent fathers.

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How to Empower Daughters Who Don’t Have Engaged Dads!

October 28, 2017 by Leave a Comment

Imagine what it would be like if every daughter had a healthy relationship with a great father who validates, protects, guides and provides for her.

Talk about (dad)vantages. We could retire the term "daddy issues" once and for all!

If only…

But unfortunately, many teen girls don't have much of a relationship with their fathers at all. "Daddy issues" often plague them as a result.

I am a fifteen-year-old girl in her sophomore year. Personally, I wanted to say thank you for allowing me to realize the purpose I have. I myself am considered to have 'daddy issues.' I’ve never really had a stable relationship with my father since he walked out and divorced my mom when I was 10. Anyways, with that at hand, I’ve always felt like I needed someone to approve of me. I’ve felt unwanted and just needed someone to tell me I’m better than the stuff I’ve been thinking of doing. Basically, I just wanted to say thank you so much for helping me realize again that my morals and life mean something.

One thing I will never forget is how you spoke about how a lot of teen girls who haven’t had a good father in their life to prove them they are worth so much more, were usually the ones who seek attention and love from their boyfriend. That was always something I expected from my boyfriend. My dad isn’t a bad person overall but he never really sacrificed much to be a part of my life which I resent about him a lot. Therefore, I use to expect so much from my boyfriend. I never thought of myself as you explained I should.

You know what I wish?

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How to Help Physically Present, Emotionally Absent Fathers Engage with Their Daughters

October 23, 2017 by Leave a Comment

I'm so glad you're back for the third post of my Let's Talk Teens with Dr. Tartt series. Thank you so much for sharing the first two posts with your friends on social media, and for the great feedback you've provided.

Clearly the topics we're tackling are resonating with readers. And hopefully, we are adding value to you and your family!

Last week when Dr. Tartt and I discussed the (dad)vantages of an actively engaged father in a teen girl's life, we both knew we'd have to address the moms out there whose daughters haven't been able to reap the benefits.

Typically, when the subject of disengaged fathers comes up, we think of fathers who do NOT live in the home with their daughters.

Of course, this is a legitimate issue of concern. And believe me, it's one I receive countless letters from girls about.

But you know what's also true?

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