Flowers Fit for a Funeral!

Growing up, I often heard older people say, “Give me my flowers while I can still smell them.” Many times, this was said after they had attended a funeral and left the funeral wondering whether the deceased had been told before he/she died all of the wonderful things that were said at the funeral.

White coffin with pink sympathy flowers

This past weekend I saw a great example of flowers being given to a person while she was still alive to smell them, and that quote from the older people came alive for me like it never has before.

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Are You Speaking Your Child’s Love Language?

HiResI know why girls search for love & try to get it any way they can. My parents never really loved me in the right ways and I have found that this guy does, but I am so desperate for someone’s love. ~High School Student

Does this young lady’s parents love her? I’m sure they do! The problem: They are not speaking her primary love language. In fact, this young lady did not say her parents did not love her. She said they never really loved her in the “right ways,” which has caused her to search for love from a guy.

The search for love in a teenager’s life can lead him or her to make some very dangerous and detrimental decisions. As a matter of fact, my experiences in the past twelve years of working with teens have led me to believe that at the heart of much of their misbehavior is the fact that many teenagers don’t feel loved, and subsequently don’t love themselves. 

Learn to Speak their Language

Watch the video below as Jackie shares information from the book, The Five Love Languages of Teens, in a parent workshop.

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Disney Made Them Do It?

iStock_000005737303XSmallI read an article recently about Mercy Academy, an all girls’ Catholic prep school in Kentucky, that created a promotional video telling girls: “You are not a princess!”

The purpose of the campaign/video was to let the girls know they should not wait for their Prince Charming. Instead, they should prepare for real life. The school promises the girls that no one will have to rescue them because Mercy Academy will prepare them to be able to rescue themselves. They are not princesses. They are so much more!

A Disney Dilemma

When I read the article, I immediately thought of the many conversations I’ve had over the years with 8th grade girls about the effects of the “princess” phenomenon that has permeated our culture. Typically the topic leads to “Disney” whenever we are discussing why there is so much pressure on middle school girls to have boyfriends.

One day I asked a class of 8th grade girls why they were seemingly so obsessed with having a boyfriend. Several of the young ladies brought up the media as the reason and said they were programmed from a very young age to believe that having a boyfriend was what validated them.

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Six Things I Learned from a Former Student’s Phone Call

Cell PhoneI received a call Saturday from a soon to be 22 -year-old young lady who served on the leadership team of an after-school club I worked with when she was in high school.  I had not spoken with her since she graduated from high school.

She began by telling me she had wanted to talk with me for a couple years, but had just built up enough courage to call me. She was reluctant to call because she was ashamed of her decision to begin having sex at 19 years old. She was also afraid I would be disappointed in her.

As I listened to her talk about how she was parented and why she made the decision to have sex, I heard some very interesting things that I would like to share with you:

1. Children need rules and want high expectations!

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Guys Want to Hear More about “Protection” from a Sex Ed Teacher!


ProtectionI am very grateful when God gives me a new approach to use with young men to counteract the barrage of messages they get from the media encouraging them to have sex. This week, I will share a strategy I began implementing with guys about a year ago that has proven to be quite effective. And it’s not what you think!

I’ve found that guys are not always aware that the reasons why girls have sex, in many cases, are very different than their own. Guys are also often ignorant of the emotional impact of the sexual activity on girls.

In order to help guys understand the cause and effect of sex for many girls, I read them one of the thousands of letters that I have received from teen girls, like the following:

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Why High School Boys Say “NO” to Sex!

Thank you so much for coming to talk to my class, I have a new perspective when I think about sex. I have a girlfriend of thirteen months, and when you mentioned that if you love someone you keep their best interest at heart, it really spoke to me. This is because I feel as if I do love her and I have never pressured her into sex because I know where she places her standards and I don’t think there is anything more attractive than that. And she is the only girl I have imagined having a future with. Because of your talks I have a better understanding of what is most important; and that is her, not parts of her. Thank you again for all you have said and all you do.

I am excited to share the last post in my series "Teens Tell All: Top 20 Reasons Why Teens DO and DON'T Have Sex" and I think you will be quite encouraged.

Check out the video below to learn what keeps high school boys from becoming sexually active and what you can do to help your son make the same choice.

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When Boys Think Sex = Manhood

I appreciate you for not giving up on teens. I thought the presentation was informative and realistic, especially the part about guys being pressured into having sex. Sometimes it feels like society wants us to have sex, like we aren’t really men if we don’t take advantage of women. I just thank you for your efforts in trying to save us. ~High School Student

In today’s post I share with you why high school boys tell me they make a decision to have sex. What may surprise you is that some young men say they are influenced to become sexually active by adults.

 

Find out more in the video below:

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Why High School Girls Say “NO” to Sex!

I value and respect myself so I know I'm worth more than some physical pleasure with no commitment!

Finally! A post in my series where I share some good news with you. Today I'm talking about all of the reasons high schools girls give me for choosing to abstain from sex. 

Check out the video below to learn what keeps high school girls from becoming sexually active and what you can do to help your daughter make the same choice.

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Does She Know Her Worth?

If a girl doesn't know her worth, she will settle for what someone else is willing to spend; and she won't even know she got cheated.

For the past few weeks, I have been sharing the top reasons teens tell me they have sex. If this is the first post you have read in this series, I encourage you to spend some time reading the other posts. 

In today's post I share the final reason high school girls give me for having sex. 

Check out the video below:

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Why Daughters Need their Dads!

Daughter&Dad

When a girl’s first date is with her father, 
all other men must measure up.
~Author Unknown

 

But what happens when a girl’s father is not actively engaged in her life?

Often times she makes poor relationship choices, becomes sexually active at a young age and spends the rest of her life questioning why her father did not love her enough to want to be a part of her life.

A teen girl tells us why:

We were discussing the “father issue” in class one day and a young lady gave the following explanation as to why many young ladies make poor relationship decisions and do not always demand to be treated with respect or recognize their value:

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