10 Ways to Raise a Daughter Who’s F.A.B. (Focused, Authentic & Brave)

May 11, 2018 by Leave a Comment

I talk a lot on the blog about the role fathers play in teen girls' lives.

There's no question that girls who have a healthy relationship with their fathers reap the "(DAD)vantages."

But today, I want to focus on the role mothers play in teen girls' lives.

Because girls who have a healthy relationship with their mothers enjoy (MOM)entum in life. (I know it's cheesy but work with me here). wink

Remember at the beginning of this school year, when I shared the 10 things every teen girl needed for Back2School (and for life), that you wouldn't find on a supply list?

I even included a special download for your daughter called 10 Things Every Teen Girl Needs to be F.A.B. (Focused, Authentic & Brave).

Today, in honor of Mother's Day, I have something just for you!

10 Ways to Raise a Daughter Who's F.A.B. (Focused, Authentic & Brave):

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How to Prevent Your Daughter from Being a Victim of Teen Dating Violence

February 25, 2018 by Leave a Comment

Teen-DV-Month

When I first started speaking to teens about healthy relationships, I didn't realize how prevalent teen dating violence was.

Not until I started receiving letters like the one below, from girls who lived through it.

I have been through a lot and I just don’t know how to tell my mom. I was with this boy and he totally turned my life upside down. At first, he was really sweet and caring and I thought that he really loved me. Then it got crazy! He hit me, called me names, called me fat, and cheated on me. Even though he did all this stuff, I stayed with him and I exploited myself. I sent him nude pictures of myself and other things. Then he told his friends. I kind of hope you read this letter in class to tell girls that they deserve better and not to stick around with someone like that because they don’t really love you like they say they do.

It didn't take long to notice common threads throughout the hundreds of letters girls have written describing abuse they suffered at the hands of a boyfriend they believed loved them.

So, I started sharing these letters in class to educate girls (and guys) about teen dating violence. With hopes that one day young ladies will no longer need to write them.

Today I'm doing the same in this post, in recognition of February being Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month.

I'm hoping that together we can prevent teen dating violence from ever becoming your daughter's story.

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5 Things You Want Your Teen Daughter to Leave Behind in 2017

December 30, 2017 by Leave a Comment

Untitled designFor many adults, this is the time of year when we conduct an annual review of our own lives over the past 365 days.

We anticipate what we'd like to accomplish and who we want to be in the new year by first reflecting over the one we've just had—the good, the bad, and the ugly.

I believe it's a good idea for teens to do the same.

So, I encourage you to help your daughter take a personal inventory of what worked well and what didn't this year. 

That way, she'll know what to carry over from 2017. And more importantly what NOT to carry over into 2018.

Forgetting those things which lay behind…

To get the ball rolling, here are five things I believe every teen girl should leave behind in 2017:

1.  The need to please. So many girls tell me they have sex because they want to make their boyfriends happy. As if making their boyfriends happy is their sole purpose in life. It's heartbreaking to witness. That's why it's so important that you remind your daughter often that she is NOT responsible for any guy's happiness. Only her own, which is more than enough.

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How to Empower Daughters Who Don’t Have Engaged Dads!

October 28, 2017 by Leave a Comment

Imagine what it would be like if every daughter had a healthy relationship with a great father who validates, protects, guides and provides for her.

Talk about (dad)vantages. We could retire the term "daddy issues" once and for all!

If only…

But unfortunately, many teen girls don't have much of a relationship with their fathers at all. "Daddy issues" often plague them as a result.

I am a fifteen-year-old girl in her sophomore year. Personally, I wanted to say thank you for allowing me to realize the purpose I have. I myself am considered to have 'daddy issues.' I’ve never really had a stable relationship with my father since he walked out and divorced my mom when I was 10. Anyways, with that at hand, I’ve always felt like I needed someone to approve of me. I’ve felt unwanted and just needed someone to tell me I’m better than the stuff I’ve been thinking of doing. Basically, I just wanted to say thank you so much for helping me realize again that my morals and life mean something.

One thing I will never forget is how you spoke about how a lot of teen girls who haven’t had a good father in their life to prove them they are worth so much more, were usually the ones who seek attention and love from their boyfriend. That was always something I expected from my boyfriend. My dad isn’t a bad person overall but he never really sacrificed much to be a part of my life which I resent about him a lot. Therefore, I use to expect so much from my boyfriend. I never thought of myself as you explained I should.

You know what I wish?

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The #1 Issue Facing Teen Girls Today? Hint: It’s Probably Not What You Think!

October 6, 2017 by 1 Comment

For years, moms have approached me to “counsel” their daughters one-on-one.

Hoping I can determine whether underlying issues have contributed to them making poor sexual decisions.

And I get it. Teen girls’ sexual decisions are often the result of them medicating pain.

I see it on their faces when the information I share in class hits too close to home.

It’s like I’ve ripped off a scab before deep wounds have had time to heal.  

They are often in pain and it is real and raw. And truth be told, I feel guilty for exposing a wound without being able to heal it.

I wish I could heal every hurt of every girl who is visibly shaken during class or pours out her heart to me after class. But I can’t.

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Celebrating One Year, 7 Secrets & 3,000+ Girls Impacted

September 29, 2017 by Leave a Comment

7 Secrets Flyer for October 15th

One year. 7 Secrets. 3,000+ girls impacted. Either from reading 7 Secrets Guys Will Never Tell You themselves or from learning about the Secrets during my presentations.

Unlocking the 7 Secrets has made it possible for me to educate and empower girls I never would have otherwise.

Who knew the girl who hated writing as a teen would grow up to become the author of a book that is transforming the way young women view and value themselves in and outside of a relationship?

Not me!

And yet, I am blown away by the feedback 7 Secrets Guys Will Never Tell You: A Teen Girl’s Guide on Love, Sex, and Relationships has received over the past year.

From young women.  

This book was an eye-opener for me and I think it will be for many teenage girls…Not only does this book show you how to handle the challenges we deal with, but also the truth behind some of the things we as teenagers are going through. -15-Year-Old Girl

I suppose being five months away from turning twenty-one doesn't quite qualify me as a ‘teen’ but I cannot deny that 7 Secrets Guy Will Never Tell You spoke to me in areas that I didn't even know I needed to address in my life…As I read this book, I discovered a key component I was missing in my journey [of self-discovery] was self-respect. -Young Woman

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How I’m Expanding Your Daughter’s Pool of Guys She Could Marry

September 22, 2017 by Leave a Comment

Wedding Day Hands

People ask me all the time why I focus on teen girls in my posts.

 “What about the guys?” they ask. And I get the concern.

We’ve been guilty as a culture of blaming and shaming girls for their sexual decisions. Especially when those choices result in teen pregnancy.

While guys are often let off the hook. Celebrated even for their sexual prowess.

I don’t agree with that kind of thinking.

If we’re going to expect girls to abstain from sex. We ought to expect the same from guys.

That’s what I do in the classroom every day. My mission is to increase the pool of guys that teen girls will have to choose from when they marry one day. Maybe even for your daughter.

How do I accomplish this?

I start by challenging guys to consider their future family’s best interests over their sex interests.

Putting their Future Family First

One of the ways I reach guys is by educating them on consequences that they aren’t aware of…like the fact that guys can’t be tested for the strain of HPV that causes cervical cancer in women.

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What Teen Guys “Get” About Commitment That Teen Girls Don’t!

September 11, 2017 by Leave a Comment

People in love with african little girl and boy holding hands in park. Cropped view

In last week’s post, I talked about how girls view sex as “forever,” and guys do not.  It is the same thing with commitment. Teen girls imagine a “happily ever after” while guys think “we’re monogamous for now.”

And you know what? I can’t be mad at guys for that.

What Guys “Get” that Girls Don’t

Here’s why I think guys get commitment right, and I wish girls would take a page out of their book:

After a girl in class complained about boys being unable to commit in a relationship, a young man who had admitted earlier to being sexually active commented, 

Why do girls expect long-term commitments at our age? We are too immature to commit. We don’t really know who we are yet, and the person I am now is probably different than the person I’ll be later. If I don’t even know who I’m going to be in 5 years, why do they expect us to know who we want to be with in 5 years?

“We are too immature…We don’t really know who we are yet…”

Ding! Ding! Ding!

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Knowing This One Thing Can Help Your Daughter Bypass #Back2School Heartache

August 31, 2017 by Leave a Comment

beauty girl cryWow! I can’t believe we’ve already reached the end of my #Back2School with Jackie B series.

I was excited to share this series with you because so much of what happens in a teen girl’s life happens at school. Good and bad.

Thankfully, many of the “bad” experiences girls face can be avoided with a little preparation.

During this time of year, parents tend to focus their attention on the physical preparations for #back2school (i.e. uniforms and supplies). What’s overlooked is the social preparation.

And I believe that is the difference between your daughter having a drama-filled new school year, and one that is drama-free. (Pretty sure I know which you’d prefer.)

So, if you’re new to my blog or have missed any of the previous posts from this series, here’s a quick rundown:

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Three #Back2School Conversations You NEED to Have With Your Daughter!

August 24, 2017 by Leave a Comment

teen daughter and mother talking

Welcome back to my #Back2School with Jackie B blog post series. I hope you’ve found the first two posts to be helpful for both you and your daughter as she kicks off a new school year.

You especially want to make sure your daughter has her copy of my FREE Checklist, 10 Things Every Teen Girl Needs to be F.A.B.. Go here to download it today!

In part three of the series, I would like to share three conversations I believe every parent of a teen daughter needs to have to prepare her for a successful and stress-free new school year.

Obviously, there are countless conversations that can and should be had with your daughter over the course of this school year. (The more the merrier if you ask me).

But these are three that routinely come up with girls in my classroom, that I think would have a far greater impact with your daughter if initiated by you at home.

1. "I expect you to do your best, not be 'the best.'"

One of the complaints I continue to hear from teen girls, particularly 8th graders, is that they are under constant pressure to be perfect.

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