How I’m Expanding Your Daughter’s Pool of Guys She Could Marry

Wedding Day Hands

People ask me all the time why I focus on teen girls in my posts.

 “What about the guys?” they ask. And I get the concern.

We’ve been guilty as a culture of blaming and shaming girls for their sexual decisions. Especially when those choices result in teen pregnancy.

While guys are often let off the hook. Celebrated even for their sexual prowess.

I don’t agree with that kind of thinking.

If we’re going to expect girls to abstain from sex. We ought to expect the same from guys.

That’s what I do in the classroom every day. My mission is to increase the pool of guys that teen girls will have to choose from when they marry one day. Maybe even for your daughter.

How do I accomplish this?

I start by challenging guys to consider their future family’s best interests over their sex interests.

Putting their Future Family First

One of the ways I reach guys is by educating them on consequences that they aren’t aware of…like the fact that guys can’t be tested for the strain of HPV that causes cervical cancer in women.

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What Teen Guys “Get” About Commitment That Teen Girls Don’t!

People in love with african little girl and boy holding hands in park. Cropped view

In last week’s post, I talked about how girls view sex as “forever,” and guys do not.  It is the same thing with commitment. Teen girls imagine a “happily ever after” while guys think “we’re monogamous for now.”

And you know what? I can’t be mad at guys for that.

What Guys “Get” that Girls Don’t

Here’s why I think guys get commitment right, and I wish girls would take a page out of their book:

After a girl in class complained about boys being unable to commit in a relationship, a young man who had admitted earlier to being sexually active commented, 

Why do girls expect long-term commitments at our age? We are too immature to commit. We don’t really know who we are yet, and the person I am now is probably different than the person I’ll be later. If I don’t even know who I’m going to be in 5 years, why do they expect us to know who we want to be with in 5 years?

“We are too immature…We don’t really know who we are yet…”

Ding! Ding! Ding!

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Knowing This One Thing Can Help Your Daughter Bypass #Back2School Heartache

beauty girl cryWow! I can’t believe we’ve already reached the end of my #Back2School with Jackie B series.

I was excited to share this series with you because so much of what happens in a teen girl’s life happens at school. Good and bad.

Thankfully, many of the “bad” experiences girls face can be avoided with a little preparation.

During this time of year, parents tend to focus their attention on the physical preparations for #back2school (i.e. uniforms and supplies). What’s overlooked is the social preparation.

And I believe that is the difference between your daughter having a drama-filled new school year, and one that is drama-free. (Pretty sure I know which you’d prefer.)

So, if you’re new to my blog or have missed any of the previous posts from this series, here’s a quick rundown:

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Three #Back2School Conversations You NEED to Have With Your Daughter!

teen daughter and mother talking

Welcome back to my #Back2School with Jackie B blog post series. I hope you’ve found the first two posts to be helpful for both you and your daughter as she kicks off a new school year.

You especially want to make sure your daughter has her copy of my FREE Checklist, 10 Things Every Teen Girl Needs to be F.A.B.. Go here to download it today!

In part three of the series, I would like to share three conversations I believe every parent of a teen daughter needs to have to prepare her for a successful and stress-free new school year.

Obviously, there are countless conversations that can and should be had with your daughter over the course of this school year. (The more the merrier if you ask me).

But these are three that routinely come up with girls in my classroom, that I think would have a far greater impact with your daughter if initiated by you at home.

1. "I expect you to do your best, not be 'the best.'"

One of the complaints I continue to hear from teen girls, particularly 8th graders, is that they are under constant pressure to be perfect.

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10 Things Every Girl Needs for #Back2School You Won’t Find on a Supply List

Welcome back to the second post of my #Back2School with Jackie B. series. If you live in the Southeast like I do, you’re probably cart-deep in #Back2School shopping for your daughter. 

B2S ChecklistNew clothes. New uniforms. New backpack. New school supplies. 

All are important items to have for the new year.

But if you really want to make sure your daughter is prepared for #Back2School, make sure she stocks up on the following 10 things you won’t find on any supply list:

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Three A+ Tips to Help Your Daughter Have a Distraction-Free School Year

Mother and Daughter

Time to kick-off the new school year with my #Back2School with Jackie B blog post series!

I am as excited about this series as I am about returning to the classroom.

Why? Because I get to share strategies you can use to help prepare your daughter for life at school.

Like the following three A+ tips you can implement to help your daughter focus on what's important and steer clear of distractions. Especially the "cute" kind. smiley

1. Help her write a vision and create goals.  

I find it counter-productive to tell students they should abstain from sex until they get married or even hold off until they’re adults, without helping them envision what they want their future to look like.

When teens can visualize what they stand to gain in the future (achieving their goals), they’re much more receptive to putting off unnecessary distractions in the present (having sex).

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#Back2School Burdens or Blessings: Which Will Define Your Daughter’s Year?


back to school after summer vacations, two teen real girls in classroom with blackboard painted together close up

Wow! It’s hard to believe that next week, July 31st to be exact, is the first day of school in the two counties where I spend most of my days speaking.

My how times have changed! Never in a million years could I have ever imagined starting school in July.

The teachers like to spend several weeks with the students before I come in to speak, which means I still have a few more weeks to get my voice ready for the four to six hours of speaking each day.

As the new school year begins, I’m looking forward to seeing the light bulb go off on teens faces when they hear a truth for the first time, causing them to connect the dots between their current choices and their future realities.

Most importantly, I’m looking forward to seeing how God will continue to answer all our prayers over the next school year. You know the prayers that I’ve been requesting from you over the years?

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It’s Not Responsible. It’s Not Fashionable. Anal Sex is Risky Teen Behavior!

About 9 or 10 years ago, I’ll never forget how shocked I was when I received multiple questions from 8th grade girls at a private middle school about the safety of anal sex.

They wanted to know whether they would still be a virgin and whether they could get pregnant by having anal sex.

Fast forward to today and it’s difficult for teens to shock me with any question they ask.

They’re teens. Their brains aren’t fully developed.  Which means they don’t always associate the potential consequences with their behaviors.

I do however continue to be shocked when I hear or read about adults encouraging risky sexual behavior, as was the case recently.

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Teen Vogue magazine published a disturbing article in its July 7th issue titled, "Anal Sex: What You Need to Know (How to do it the RIGHT way)."

Yes, you read that correctly. An article normalizing anal sex in a magazine specifically written and marketed to teen girls.

In case you don’t have time to read the entire article, the following gives you an idea of what it says:

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The Self-Fulfilling Prophecy That Could Hurt Your Daughter!

Girls who take my class often complain that guys who won’t pressure them to have sex don’t exist.

I find that’s one of the biggest lies girls believe. And one that I gladly disprove every chance I get (like in Chapter 7 of my book, 7 Secrets Guys Will Never Tell You).

When these same girls do come across a young man who is more than happy to wait, they often believe one of the following:

1.  The guy is gay.

I used to have trouble explaining to the girl I love why I wouldn't have sex with her. It dumbfounds her. Sometimes she calls me gay…, but I just shrug it off.

2.  He’s cheating on her.

After school on Friday, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex and I said to her, ‘We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to. I don’t want you to think that I’m using you because I’m not. I can go on till marriage without this.’ She was furious. She got up and began to question if I was cheating on her. She started asking me if I was getting it from some other girl and if I didn’t want her anymore. I sat her down and told her where I was coming from, but…she still either wants to have sex with me or thinks I must be cheating. Time well wasted…

3.  He doesn’t find her attractive.

I am sexually active and this girl is the perfect example of what you spoke about. I have noticed that she has low self-esteem because of how jealous she is…She keeps me around so she can hear that she’s beautiful. She’s broken inside and out. Typically, a guy takes advantage of a girl like this, but I don't want to fit the stereotype of the typical guy. But, us without sex rips her apart inside. She thinks the worst and feels that if we're not having sex then she’s either unattractive or I'm cheating on her. What is the best way to go about this?

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Consider the Cost: How to Teach Your Teen Freedom is Never Free. Especially When It Comes to Sex

Happy 4th of July!

Any American like myself, celebrating  “Independence Day,” should know our “independence” has and always will come with a price.

Soldiers sacrifice their lives for us to have our freedom. So, freedom is never truly FREE!

The Lingering Costs of Sexual “Freedom”

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During the 1960’s there was another  “freedom movement” called the Sexual Revolution. At the time there were only two sexually transmitted infections that we knew about, gonorrhea and syphilis. Today, there are 25+ known STIs/STDs.  This generation is paying the price for all of the sexual freedom that was ushered in during the 1960’s.

I share the above in the classroom before I begin to speak with the students about the cost they may have to pay for the sexual decisions they make during their teen years.

A few months ago, I received the following email through my website:

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