Teen Girls Who Don’t Know their Value Become Women Who Don’t Know their Value

I've been told for years that adults need to hear my message just as much as teens do because my message transcends age.

Teenage girl and her mother crying

Though my most requested presentation falls in the category of “sex education,” it covers so much more than sex. I address how to have healthy relationships, what it means to value yourself, how to treat yourself and others with love and respect, how to live a life of discipline and self-control, as well as how to make decisions now that will benefit you long-term and not just for the short-term. These are principles that apply to both teens and adults alike.

What You Don’t Know Can/Does Hurt You!

So what happens when adults did not learn these things when they were teens? They end up dealing with the same issues that teens are dealing with, just much later in life and for a longer period of time.

I recently received the email message below that confirmed for me how important it is to teach this generation of young ladies their value so they do not end up battling with the issue of low self-worth when they are well into their adult years.

Hello Ms. Brewton. I have caught snippets of your talks on Facebook. I am 42 years young. I know that the talks I have seen are for the young and you deal in equipping the parents. Though I am not a young person and I am not a parent, what little I have heard has really spoken to me.

I was VERY promiscuous as a young person. Even though I am this far into my life and I know I am totally and completely forgiven and no longer choose to give myself away in that manner, there is still sadness with me about it.

This is just a ‘thank you’ for what you do and what I have heard you say; not just about abstaining from sex…BUT the ‘how’ and ‘why’ of being a woman/young lady; being someone who values themselves and knows that value. I never knew that.

No one taught it to me. No one taught my mom. She could not tell me. Today, I am still growing in what it means to love, respect, and honor myself. It has been a long and tough road to walk as things are not always clear. It helps to hear someone else say it.

Little did I know when I set out to help a generation of teens live their best lives that adults would benefit from my words as well. But, I guess I shouldn’t be surprised because truth is truth regardless of the age that you learn it.

Parents, let's talk to our daughters early about their value to prevent them from having to learn these lessons the hard way and at a much older age.

Not sure what to say? The following are five value-building truths that I share with teen girls every time I speak. Feel free to adopt for your own daughters, starting today!

  1. You are good enough!
  2. Your external beauty is not nearly as important as your internal beauty!
  3. If you allow a relationship to determine your value, the lack/loss of a relationship will make you feel that you have no value.
  4. Instead of trying to FIND someone who makes you happy, BE someone who makes you happy.
  5. You can’t expect others to love you if you don’t love you!

Please share any other value-building truths that you think teen girls should know.

FREE ONLINE TRAINING: The Daddy-Daughter Dynamic: How Engaged Fathers Lead to Empowered Daughters. Join this training to learn what you can do to either be the actively engaged father your daughter needs, or help fill in the gap if her father isn’t. Tuesday, June 20th, 8:00pm EST. Click this link to register. 


  1. Lami Onifade says:

    These are very encouraing words. I believe this could apply to teen boys as well. Great message!

    • Jackie Brewton says:

      Lami, You are right! This could have just as easily been written about boys. Thanks for taking the time to share your comments! Jackie



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